Families, communities, and nations are strengthened when we persuade the rising generation to live morally clean lives. As parents and caring adults, we have the opportunity to influence our youth to live the law of chastity in thought as well as action. We must teach by our words and actions how to avoid falling into an addiction to pornography.
Pornography has an “insidious allurement” and can enslave an innocent child before they are old enough to understand what is happening. Since no loving parent wants their child to be addicted to pornography, we can conclude that such parents desire a way to keep their child from becoming addicted. Rick Thomas published a very interesting article entitled “5 Sure-Fire Ways to Motivate Your Child to Use Pornography” that can teach us the behaviors we must avoid.
Thomas explained that “pornography for a man is not primarily about the physicality of a woman. A woman’s appearance is an external magnet for the eye to enjoy, but the greater problem for the man is his insatiable cravings of the mind. Pornography is first and foremost about the theater of the mind, where the young male can enter into his virtual world and be king for a day or in this case, king for a few minutes as he satiates his mind with the risk-free intrigue of the cyber conquest. Porn is a secret world all of the time. Porn resides in the heart. It is lust, which feeds itself while in the darkness of a person’s mind. This makes what we do as parents all the more important because the mind of the child is not altogether discernible. The seeds of lust can be planted in the mind of a child many years before he is old enough to act out on what has been growing inside his heart….
“… It can take years for all these sinful events to transpire. In most cases the allurement and enticement of the porn addict began in the theater of his mind while he was a child. This has been a consistent pattern I have seen in counseling. You will see in my five sure-fire ways to motivate your child to use pornography how any child can be in porn training without the child or the parents knowing how he was wrongly shaped.”
Thomas’ five “sure-fire ways” are: 1) Have a non-romantic marriage and teach your children than only certain people are worthy of being lusted after: “One of the best ways for the husband to highlight real beauty is for him to pursue his wife in the home. There needs to be a lot of hugging and kissing between the husband and wife. Release biblical sexuality and romance from its shameful prison and teach your children a biblical view of love. Children need to see marital romantic affection. The dad can send a clear message to his children regarding what beauty if and what turns him on – though he would not say it this way to his children. Holding hands, dancing in the living room, hugging for long periods of time, and smooching in front of the kids are beautiful examples of who and what is worthy of a man’s love.”
2) Shower your children with instant gratification: “… The spoiled child who is given everything he wants is a perfect candidate for porn training. … Too many of our children have not heard the word no. They are often given the desires of their heart…. When children run the home by easily persuading their parents to give them the desires of their heart, then there is nothing to stop the child from getting into porn if the opportunity arises.”
3) Do not communicate well with your spouse: The non-communicative couple “is a perfect setup for the porn trainee because viewing porn has nothing to do with verbal communication…. The children of non-communicative parents are trained in the de-valuing of words, but it’s more than this. It’s the devaluing of the opposite sex…. Husbands, your children need to see the value you give your wife by giving her some of your best words throughout your day…. I’m talking about words which build up, cherish, nourish, and adore your wife. Show the value you place on the woman you married. Let her be exalted in the minds of your children.”
4) Do not allow your children to receive consequences for their actions: “Along with the spoiled child mentioned above, there is a parallel parental action to giving the kid whatever he desires. This is the parent who teaches little to no consequences for his actions. A child who does not have to pay for what he has done wrong will learn how to get away with anything. This, too, is a major characteristic of a porn addiction. It gives the addict a false confidence in a risk-free virtual environment….
“Children must have a comprehensive view of love, which means they must be appropriately disciplined when they do wrong. The spoiled child who suffers little consequences in life will have a low regard for rules and authority. Porn has no rules and low risk. It doesn’t take much to enter the porn world…. A child who knows he can get away with things is easy prey for the tentacles of pornography….”
5) Criticize and show anger in your home: Criticism and anger are the most common ways we devalue others. … The porn world is a refuge where people go to escape the realities of their lives. It’s a risk-free haven where the addict can be in control, while satisfying his weary mind. There is no place which will affect his mind more than what goes on in his home….If the home is not a refuge of encouragement, your child will be tempted to find refuge in other places. Porn is one of the easiest places for him to get lost in the moment….”
Thomas concluded his article by stating that our children will respond to the atmosphere we have in our homes. If we give them an atmosphere of love, respect, unselfishness, responsibility, etc., our children will be better able to resist the allure of pornography. I understand that the odds of becoming addicted to pornography are greater the younger the child is when first introduced to pornography. This means that we have no time to spare in turning our homes into heavens on earth. Pornography destroys individuals, marriages, and families, and, if allowed to run rampant, will destroy communities and nations. We can stop this destruction by creating the type of home where love grows and develops. We can strengthen our homes, communities, and nation by avoiding addiction to pornography.