Friday, March 23, 2012

Rules for Marriage

                    Marriages and families are happier and more successful when husbands and wives obey the eternal laws of marriage.  We must obey eternal laws in order to obtain any blessing from God; therefore, we must obey the laws that are applicable to marriage if we desire to have happy and successful marriages.  Husbands and wives who are happily married tend to develop loving and strong families.

                    The Lord decreed on April 2, 1843, the conditions upon which we can obtain blessings from God when he revealed the following information to the Prophet Joseph Smith:

                    "There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated.
                    "And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated."  (See Doctrine and Covenants 130:20-21.)

                    The Lord gave further information about marriage and family through a later prophet - President Gordon B. Hinckley - when the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints issued "The Family:  A Proclamation to the World"  in September 1995.

                    "Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children….  Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.  Husbands and wives - mothers and fathers - will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.
                    "The family is ordained of God.  Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan.  Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.  Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.  Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.  By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.  Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.  In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners…."

                    Some dear friends of more than forty years recently celebrated fifty years of marriage.  Newer acquaintances see a strong and happy marriage; older friends know that this couple struggled through some difficult circumstances before arriving where they are now.  My friends would probably tell you that the most important marriage law they obeyed was to love each other.  They love each other dearly and came through their problems because of their love for each other.

                    Other important ingredients of their success are faith, prayer, and scripture study.  As a means to strengthen their marriage, my friends embarked on a system of scripture study; they read the Book of Mormon - Another Testament of Jesus Christ together as a couple and accompanied their study with prayer.  A successful marriage counselor once recommended the Book of Mormon for assistance in strengthening marriages; in fact, she claimed that the Book of Mormon  is the best marriage counselor we can find!  The Book of Mormon strengthens our faith in Jesus Christ and helps us to develop attributes of Christ, which then strengthen the marriage.

                    I am always looking for information about how to strengthen marriages and families and found a plaque with the following "Marriage Rules" created by Accent Design, Inc.  The plaque itself is a beautiful addition to any house, but the information on it is priceless in any home.  I think of these rules as the Ten Commandments of Marriage because they are so valuable.  I like the way they teach the principle and then explain the blessing that comes from obedience to the rule.

                    1) Always remember that "marriage is a partnership" between three people - husband, wife, and God - in order to be blessed with "strength, courage, and determination to conquer all challenges" in the marriage.

                    2) Cleave unto your spouse in thoughts as well as actions in order to "find confidence and trust".

                    3) Be unselfish with your time, money, belongings, etc. in order to "avoid resentment and find harmony".

                    4) Remember your parents but rely on your spouse in order to form better "communication and unity".

                    5) Use special names for each other - such as honey or sweetheart - and remember to perform the "little acts of kindness" in order to "find love and tenderness".

                    6) Use kind words and be uncritical of each other in order to "find peace".

                    7) Enjoy the company of your spouse and spend time together in order to truly know each other and "find intimacy".

                    8) Learn to say "I'm sorry" in order to "melt down the barriers of anger and resentment and find mutual forgiveness".

                    9) Recognize that your spouse has needs and desires and show appreciation for his/her efforts and accomplishments in order to "find appreciation and gratitude for one another".

                10) Live within your means and recognize that wants are different than needs in order to "avoid needless stress and find contentment".   

                    These rules for marriage simply make sense and can bring marital happiness if they are followed.  I like the "act as if" principle.  If the atmosphere in our marriage is not what we want it to be, we can act as if it were and thus bring forth the desired condition.  Depending on the problem, it will take more or less acting, but the result will be well worth the effort.

                    We must follow the laws for whatever blessing we want to receive.  If we want to have happy and successful marriages and families, we must follow the laws upon which they are predicated. 
                     
                   



                     

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