Rules for Life

                Families, communities, and nations are strengthened when we teach the rising generation the basic rules of life.  We must teach the young people proper behavior and give them understanding as to what is expected of them.  When we have high expectations, young people rise to meet those expectations, but when we keep our expectations low, the rising generation does not rise at all.  My father taught his children that each generation should be better than the previous one, and my children are much better than me.  I believe that their children will continue the trend because of what I see in their homes.

                There is a list of rules for high school students flying around the Internet, which have been attributed to Bill Gates.  While Bill Gates is a very intelligent and successful business man, he did not write these rules.  In fact, he is not even the first to quote the rules.  According to Snopes dot come,  Ann Landers printed the first ten rules (uncredited) several times, and radio commentator, Paul Harvey, read the list on his program.

                Snopes claims that the list was created by Charles J. Sykes, author of the 1996 book entitled Dumbing Down Our Kids:  Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can’t Read, Write, or Add.  Sykes also wrote 50 Rules Kids Won’t Learn in School:  Real-World Antidotes to Feel-Good Education in 2007.

These rules remind me very much of what I taught my children.  When they were out of school for a day, a week, or the summer, they would complain when I gave them assignments.  “We’re on vacation!”  My reply was, “You are on vacation from school but not life.  Get to work!”  Sykes’ rules would make a good foundation for New Year’s resolutions.  I suggest that parents at least read the following rules from Sykes to their children at least annually.  Parents must act like adults in order to help the rising generation.

Rule No. 1:  Life is not fair.  Get used to it.  The average teen-ager uses the phrase “It’s not fair” 8.6 times a day.  You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever.  When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule No. 1.

Rule No. 2:  The real world won’t care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does.  It’ll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.  This may come as a shock.  Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it’s not fair.  (See Rule No. 1.)

Rule No. 3:  Sorry, you won’t make $40,000 a year right out of high school.  And you won’t be a vice president or have a car phone either.  You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn’t have a Gap label.

Rule No. 4:  If you think your teacher is tough, wait ‘til you get a boss.  He doesn’t have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier.  When you screw up, he’s not going to ask you how you feel about it.

Rule No. 5:  Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity.  Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping.  They called it opportunity.  They weren’t embarrassed making minimum wage either.  They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.

Rule No. 6:  It’s not your parents’ fault.  If you screw up, you are responsible.  This is the flip side of “It’s my life,” and “You’re not the boss of me,” and other eloquent proclamations of your generation.  When you turn 18, it’s on your dime.  Don’t whine about it, or you’ll sound like a baby boomer.

Rule No. 7:  Before you were born your parents weren’t as boring as they are now.  They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are.  And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents’ generation, try delousing the closet in your bedroom.

Rule No. 8:  Your school may have done away with winners and losers.  Life hasn’t.  In some schools, they’ll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer.  Failing grades have been abolished and class valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone’s feelings be hurt.  Effort is as important as results.  This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.  (See Rule No. 1, Rule No. 2 and Rule No. 4.)

Rule No. 9:  Life is not divided into semesters, and you don’t get summers off.  Not even Easter break.  They expect you to show up every day.  For eight hours.  And you don’t get a new life every 10 weeks.  It just goes on and on.  While we’re at it, very few jobs are interested in fostering our self-expression or helping you find yourself.  Fewer still lead to self-realization.  (See Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2.)

Rule No. 10:  Television is not real life.  Your life is not a sitcom.  Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials.  In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs.  Your friends will not be as perky or pliable as Jennifer Aniston.

Rule No. 11:  Be nice to nerds.  You may end up working for them.  We all could.

Rule No. 12:  Smoking does not make you look cool.  It makes you look moronic.  Next time you’re cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth.  That’s what you look like to anyone over 20.  Ditto for “expressing yourself” with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.

Rule No. 13:  You are not immortal.  (See Rule No. 12.)  If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven’t seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.

Rule No. 14:  Enjoy this while you can.  Sure parents are a pain, school’s a bother, and life is depressing.  But someday you’ll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid.  Maybe you should start now.  You’re welcome.