Put Spouse First

                Families, communities, and nations are strengthened when we put our spouse before our children.  Experts say we should give priority to our spouse, and I agree.  Our entire family benefits when we invest time and energy in our relationship with our spouse.  When families are strong, their communities are also strong.

                There are several reasons why we must put our spouse before our children.  (1) When we put our spouse first, we decrease the possibilities of divorce and greatly benefit our children.  (2) Study after study shows that children do better when they live with both of their biological parents in the same home.  (3) When children are put before the marriage, the marriage may be over by the time children leave the nest.  (4) The best thing we can do for our children is to love and care for our spouse.

                How do we put our spouse first?  (1) Have weekly date night, (2) Take a minute to greet spouse when he/she returns home, (3) Show affection in front of the children, (4) Show the children that the marriage comes first by your words and actions.

                Amber Dody published a post entitled “Putting Your Husband First” and included this statement:  “I strongly believe that modeling a healthy relationship for our children is the foundation on which the rest of their lives are built.  My husband and I are the first example of what a marriage should be like, our interactions with one another teach our children how they should treat their future significant others and what they should expect in return.  Raising them in a home with parents who clearly value one another is key to their growth into adults, who in turn form healthy bonds with their partners.

                “For me this means putting my husband first.  With very few exceptions, you will not find children in our bed at night.  If we can only afford to take one vacation a year, we take it alone, and I feel no guilt about soliciting the help of family so that we can have a date night where we talk about anything but our children.”

                Stephanie Jankowski  linked to the above post and then wrote:  “Valuing our spouses, loving our children, and finding time for ourselves can all co-exist within a healthy marriage and happy family.  When building anything, a strong foundation is crucial, which is why I continue to put my relationship with my husband before our kids.  As parents, our goal for the future includes happy, healthy children who are independent of us, and maybe a beach house.  As a couple, we hope to avoid staring blankly at one another from across the kitchen table, barely familiar with the person we married 50+ years ago.  And as a woman, I proudly wear the titles of Wife and Mom, but before I was married with the children, I as Stephanie, and I refuse to lose sight of myself.”

                My parents have twelve children.  I do not remember either my father or mother putting their children before their spouse.  In fact, I understood that I would be in big trouble with my father if I showed any disrespect for my mother or leave my chores for her to do.  I knew beyond any doubt that my parents put each other before any of their children.

                We should give priority to our spouse.  When we keep our own marriage strong, we set a good example for other couples and we strengthen our community and our nation.