Physical Intimacy in Marriage

                Families, communities, and nations are strengthened when parents properly teach their children about committed marital love and intimacy.  Children should be able to see and feel the commitment their parents feel for each other.  Children should also be taught two important facts about love and intimacy:  (1) Sexual intimacy is not a “reward” to be given out for a lovely date; it should take place only between a legally and lawfully married man and woman.  (2) Each of us can have a joyous and fulfilling sexual relationship with the right person and at the right time.

                I found a wonderful article by Linda and Richard Eyre, who are considered “experts” about love, marriage, and family relationships.  I found the entire article interesting and worth reading and pondering.   The bulk of this post is from the article but is only a small part of it.  The entire article can be found at this site.   In their article they shared how they went to a wise and trusted mentor seeking marital advice while they were still engaged.  Even though they did not fully understand at the time the importance of his counsel, they have since learned the full meaning of it.

                “He chose to talk to us about committed, marital sex because he knew there were so many counterfeits out there.  He was not talking about lust or about the media kind of sex that is often selfish and almost always amorally glamorized.  It wasn’t about pornography or sex-as-recreation.  And, it certainly wasn’t about sex as exploitation or domination.

                “What he was saying was that in a marriage there can never be too much love, only too little.  Unhealthy sexual relationships do not come about because of too much love, but because of too little.

                “Real love increases communication, increases empathy, increases and deepens emotional and spiritual feelings, and can increase both the quantity and the quality of physical intimacy.

                “There is no such thing as too much intimacy when it lifts and binds and empathizes and cares more about what the other person is feeling than about one’s self….

                “This intimacy incorporates total trust and complete commitment and, beyond its physical wonder, it is the perfect metaphor for mental and emotional and spiritual oneness….

                “This kind of marital sex is an exercise in empathy, a case-study in commitment, a tradition of tenderness, and the epitome of excitement….  It is worthy of the term `making love’ and is the polar opposite of `having sex.’  And, it is available to every able-bodied married couple who wants it bad enough to develop it, and to every single person who wants it bad enough to wait for it.”

                Parents have the responsibility to teach the rising generation what committed marital love and intimacy is and how to achieve it.  Parents should teach about love and intimacy by both precept and example.  When the rising generation has this kind of understanding about sex, they will be strengthened against dangerous and too-early experimentation.  When the rising generation is strengthened, their families, communities, and nations grow stronger also.