Gender, Inclusion, and Empathy

            Families, communities, and nations are stronger when all members of the rising generation are helped to reach their full potential. We all lived in heaven with Heavenly Father before we came to this earth. We lived there as male and female. Our gender was important there, it is important here, and it will be important in the next life. Our gender remains the same. Because I am female here on earth, I know that I was a female in heaven and will continue to be a female in the next life.

            Since God makes no mistakes, there is no reason for a boy to think that he is a girl, or a girl to think that she is a boy. Yet, it seems to be happening more and more as time goes on. Social scientists are discovering that children get these strange ideas because of the way that they are treated. This is particularly true for those children who are a little different. Scientists have found no proof of a gene that makes a person gay. Whether or not someone becomes homosexual depends on how they are treated as children and youth.

            Most little girls play house and want to be just like mommy, and most little boys want to grow up to be just like daddy. When my children were little, their toys were all together on the toy shelves. The girl things were there right beside the boy things, yet the girls chose to play with dolls, dishes, etc. and the boys chose to play with trucks and cars. When my son wanted to play with his older sisters, he played with his He-man characters while his sisters played with their Barbies. They all played with the more neutral toys of blocks, puzzles, etc.

            Little girls want to “mother,” and they are willing to mother just about anything. If the only thing they have is a truck, they will wrap the truck in a blanket and pretend that it is a baby. Little boys want to be rough and tough. If the only toy that they have to play with is a doll, they will make it into an Army guy and make it do tough things. This is the way that we are created because our gender came with us into this world.

            What happens if the little boy does not like to rough and tumble but prefers to do quiet things like art and music? He is still a boy. His difference in taste only means that he has a more sensitive side than most boys. However, studies have shown that he wants the intimacy of being included in the group of boys. If he is allowed to form healthy relationships with other boys, he grows up feeling like a man. If the closeness he desires is not there, he will start to crave it. This desire to be intimate with other males can cause him think that he is gay. If he acts on this way of thinking, he will be convinced that he is gay.

            The same thing happens to little girls who are a little less feminine and do not want to wear ruffles and lace. If she is able to bond with other girls even though she is not as feminine, she will grow up knowing that she is female. When either a boy or girl starts to think that they are the other sex, it is because they want the intimacy with people of their own sex. This happens long before they have any desires to participate in sex. This is one reason why we need to teach our children and grandchildren to be kind and include all people. It is this lack of inclusion and closeness that is driving many of the rising generation into homosexuality.

            There are also a few other ways that children can be made to think that they are the opposite sex. Many children who have been molested start to have these thoughts. This does not mean that all people who become homosexual have been molested or that all people who are molested will become homosexual. It simply means that this is one way that children get a same-sex attraction.

            This kind of thinking can also come from a father that treats his daughter like a son or a mother who tries to make her son into a daughter. Adults who mess with the minds of children are in a class of evil all by themselves. However, we must all be careful how we treat children and youth in order to help them to reach their potential as a son or daughter of God.

            Children need to have both male and female role models in their lives. Most little boys who are able to bond with a strong male – like a loving father – will grow up to become a strong male. Most little girls who have a strong female – like a loving mother – will grow up to be a strong female. However, there are other forces in their lives, such as the children in the neighborhood or at school.

            Children can be mean. They exclude other children and say and do mean things. This is one reason why we must clamp down on bullying and meanness. If boys are telling another boy that he is “gay,” he will start to believe them. If they include him in their group, he will feel that he is one of the boys. The same goes for little girls. We need to teach children from a young age to include other children. This site gives ten suggestions of how to teach children to have empathy for others. 

Tip 1 – Empathize with your child and show empathy towards others. This is all about role modelling empathy and being mindful of your own responses to your child’s emotions. The easiest way to do this is to be reflective of the emotions your child displays and validate how they are feeling….

Tip 2 – Teach children to effectively manage their emotions and self-regulate….

Tip 3 – Use every day opportunities to address perspective taking. Children are all born with the capacity to show empathy, we just need to nurture it. You can use moments from everyday life to encourage caring and compassionate thoughts through “perspective taking.” Talk openly about how another may feel when you identify situations that elicit an empathetic response in books, movies, at the park or in your home….

Tip 4 – Help children discover what they have in common with others. Empathy is stronger towards people we have things in common with. Encourage inclusion, diversity and warmth by helping your child discover what they share in common with people of all different perspectives….

Tip 5 – Encourage kindness, thoughtfulness and compassion for all living creatures. Prioritize these traits across all situations and to all living things….

Tip 6 – Help children develop the ability to read emotional cues. Empathy requires children to identify how others feel, not only based on their own emotional insight but also on the other person’s emotional cues – not every person reacts and feels the same in every situation….

Tip 7 – Develop cognitive awareness of empathy using literature. Books are an essential tool for aiding emotional development, as they help children relate to and remember important life lessons, such as being kind to others. While you are reading you can engage in empathy building by: discussing the character’s feelings and emotions, pointing out the facial expressions or body language of characters, asking your child how they would feel if it were them, asking your child what they would do if this was their friend or classmate.

Tip 8 – Engage in emotional awareness games and play. Using games and play to teach emotional awareness helps increase a child’s emotional vocabulary bank and assists them to be more mindful of big feelings in themselves and others….

Tip 9 – Encourage younger children to develop empathic concern during imaginary play. By engaging in play with your child you can role model and encourage empathetic concern….

Tip 10 – Encourage and praise emotional sharing. Last but not least, it is important to keep the lines of communication open when it comes to emotional sharing. Your child needs to be reassured that it is okay for them to experience both negative and positive emotions. They should also feel safe to express all emotions to you….

            As we teach and live with our children and grandchildren, we must remember that each one is an individual and different. “They learn differently, respond differently, [and] have different personalities and different levels of emotional awareness.” Yet each is child of God sent to earth with a distinct gender that stays with them for all eternity. Each child deserves to be included and accepted as their own person. We can strengthen our families, communities, and nations by helping each child to feel secure in their own gender and included in the group.