Mixed Feelings about Mother's Day

            I am one of many mothers who have mixed feelings about Mother’s Day. I am thrilled to be the mother of six outstanding adults who brought six wonderful spouses into my family. I am also the grandmother of seventeen, soon to be eighteen, grandchildren. My oldest grandchild graduates from high school next month and leaves three weeks later to serve a two-year mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My youngest – at least as far as I know – will be born towards the end of July. Being a mother and grandmother are my greatest accomplishments, ones that I can take into eternity with me. My children almost always call to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day, and their calls make the day extra special.

            My mother passed away one week before Mother’s Day on May 5, 1979. She graduated from this life 40 years ago, but her influence on me remains strong. My mother was a small woman – just over five feet tall and about 100 pounds. She had lovely blue eyes, beautiful white hair, and a brilliant smile. She was quiet and unassuming and a friend to all who knew her. I miss her every single day and especially at this time of year. This brings unwelcome sadness to my celebration of Mother’s Day.

            I am also a mother who recognizes that I am not a perfect mother. Like my own mother, I did the best that I could with the knowledge and skills I had. I could have been better and done better if I had known more. My children and their success stories bring me great joy, but I understand the heartache of other mothers who may not see the fruits of their love and labor yet. I really like this new Mother's Day song titled "More Than Enough." 

            I read an article a few days ago, one of the many that I think, “I wish I had written something like that!” In “An Open Letter to 5 types of Mothers,” Lindsey Redfern acknowledges that Mother’s Day is a day of discouragement for many mothers. One of the most misunderstood things about mothers is that they may be surrounded by numerous children and grandchildren, but the one that is not present will still be greatly missed. Redfern discusses the following types of mothers in her article: the imperfect mother, the childless mother, the mother battling infertility, the mother who placed her child for adoption, and the mother waiting to reunite with her children in heaven.

            I can certainly relate with several of these mothers. I was childless for several years while I fought infertility. I had the heartache mixed with joy as I watched my siblings and friends welcome child after child into their homes. I am also an imperfect mother who did my share of yelling at the children and even spanking them to get their attention. I am grateful that I was never in the position where I needed to place a child for adoption or to bury one of my children. Yet, my heart aches for those mothers who had to face those circumstances.

            I am also grateful to belong to a Church whose leaders recognize that mothers come in all sizes, shapes, and colors and that each of us comes with a multitude of feelings about motherhood. For Mother’s Day this year The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints released a message for all mothers. The message --“We recognize women everywhere, no matter your challenges or circumstances. You are enough” – accompanies a video titled “You Are Enough.” 

            To all women everywhere I add my hope that you will find joy on this Mother’s Day. I know that all women are mothers whether or not they have borne, adopted, or fostered children. Eve was called the “Mother of All Living” while still living in the Garden of Eden, and we are her daughters with many of her attributes. We are all mothers!