Do You Know How to Self-Regulate Your Emotions?

Families, communities, and nations are stronger when parents understand how children develop. I studied infant and toddler development last semester, and I am studying early and middle child development this semester. I have studied several theories of child development from two different perspectives. I studied emotional self-regulation this week, and I learned a lot that would have been helpful more than fifty years ago as a new mother.

Emotional self-regulation is a term to describe the strategies we use to keep our emotional level at a comfortable level, which will help us to accomplish our task. It requires voluntary and effortful management of our emotions. It develops quickly in early childhood because of the influences of a dynamic system.

The dynamic system of influence includes development of the prefrontal cortex with all its connections to brain areas involved in emotional activities. It also includes caregivers who help infants, toddlers, and young children to manage their intense emotions. The caregivers also teach strategies for self-regulation as the children advance in cognitive, language, and motor skills.

As in most things, there are differences in how individuals control their emotions. These differences are evident in infancy and play a vital role in emotional adjustment.

There are several reasons why a child needs to have a good start in self-regulation of their emotions within their first two years. A good start will greatly contribute to mastery of cognitive and social skills. Poorly regulated toddlers are at risk for long-lasting difficulties in emotional adjustments. Self-regulation is crucial for a child to succeed in school and in life.

Caregivers have the important task of helping infants to regulate their emotional state, and they should understand that they contribute to a child’s style of emotional self-regulation. Caregivers help infants learn self-regulation by quickly comforting them and telling them that they are okay. For toddlers and older children, caregivers can teach them by words and example how to self-regulate. They can discuss emotions (happy, sad, excited, embarrassed, surprised, angry) and help the child to put their feelings into words. When there is a conflict with a child, a caregiver can negotiate and compromise with the child to show them how to solve differences.

The material speaks of caretakers, so that is the term that I used. However, I hope that the caretaker of every child is its own mother and/or father. Parents who understand the importance of helping their child to develop self-regulation of their emotions will strengthen their family, community, and nation.