Do Marriage and Motherhood Lead to Happier Women?

Families are stronger when mothers are happy with their situation and circumstances, and strong families strengthen their communities, states, and nations. Jenet Jacob Erickson, a fellow of the Wheatley Institute and a professor in Religious Education at Brigham Young University, authored an article about women, mothers, marriage, and happiness. 

Erickson explained that a young married woman about to graduate spoke with her about careers, motherhood, the effects of motherhood on careers, and how children affect the marital relationship. Erickson authored her article to share information with others who have similar questions. She gave the following key points for her article.

·         A growing number of young women look upon parenting warily, while 74% see job and career as a source of a fulfilling life.

·         Yet national surveys repeatedly show that married women with children are happier – up to twice as much – compared with women who are single or childless.

·         Married women also report high levels of physical touch (e.g., kissing, cuddling, holding hands), more than double the rates of other women.

·         Even as motherhood transitions women into greater exhaustion and less “me time,” this often corresponds with an increase in meaning, purpose and happiness.

·         Only 1 in 5 single mothers say they are connected with a local community group, compared with 38% of married mothers – highlighting a need to provide additional support.

Erickson closed her article with good counsel. She first explained that nothing in her article “should obscure the realities that make motherhood difficult” and it “takes a village to raise a child.”

Yet many mothers today find themselves without that village and social connections. This is especially true for single mothers….

These findings shouldn’t obscure the importance of women’s personal development and essential contributions in spheres outside of nurturing children. Cultural narratives that define mothers as needless, wantless, desireless humans whose lives are defined by others’ needs undermine the agency and power of women to choose the privilege and sacrifice of giving and nurturing life, and the unparalleled development that comes with it.

Our study also confirms the critical role of marriage in motherhood. Many of the health benefits of motherhood for women, such as less loneliness and better mental health, apply primarily to married mothers. Marriage to a caring spouse offers the stabilizing and supportive context that lifts the burdens of motherhood and strengthens mothers’ experience of happiness, connection and meaning.

Single mothers are often the unsung heroes among us and should be strengthened in every way within our communities.

We really are relational beings. The cultural narrative shaping our perceptions may lead us to believe that happiness is found in pleasure-seeking autonomy. But the core relationships of life – marriage and parenthood – are designed to enable the flourishing we yearn for.

Motherhood offers an unparalleled opportunity for connection, meaning and intimacy. Believing that in today’s culture may take faith. But it is a faith worth acting on.

Happy mothers and fathers lead to happy families in most cases. Happy families are stronger families, and strong families make stronger communities, states, and nations.