Role of Fathers

             Father’s Day was Sunday, and my thoughts have been on fathers in general as well as the fathers in my life. For whatever reason, my study matter for this week was on fathers and finance. An optional reading assignment was a talk given by Elder L. Tom Perry of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in 2004. It seems only fitting that I should share some of his words. 

            Elder Perry begins his talk by reminding us that “Satan is working overtime to enslave the souls of men” and his “main target is the fundamental unit of society – the family.” As we can all plainly see, Satan is being successful. We can see it in the “increased crime, behavior disorders, poverty, drug abuse” and much more. He says that it appears that Satan has centered his attack on husbands and fathers in that they are ridiculed and demeaned in their God-given roles.

Satan, in his carefully devised plan to destroy the family, seeks to diminish the role of fathers. Increased youth violence, youth crime, greater poverty and economic insecurity, and the failure of increasing numbers of children in our schools offer clear evidence of lack of a positive influence of fathers in the homes. A family needs a father to anchor it.

Surely we have learned by now, from the experience over centuries, that the basic family provides the most stable and secure foundation for society and is fundamental to the preparation of your people for their future responsibilities. We should have learned by now that alternative styles of family formations have not worked and never will work….

            Elder Perry uses several stories in the scriptures as examples for the roles of fathers. He then focuses particularly on what the Lord expects fathers to do. The first role of a father is to be the head of his family. Elder Perry quotes counsel from several prophets about the leadership of fathers. In essence, this counsel is as follows. Fathers are to preside in the home, but their wives are coequals with them. They are to work together for the good of the family in establishing family rules and discipline. Fathers are to use their priesthood to bless their families.

            The second role of a father is to be a teacher. Fathers are to teach their children the truths of the gospel by word and example. They are to live, study, and pray to be guided by the Holy Ghost in their fathering. They are to share their experiences with the working world. This means that they are to teach their children how to work and how to be dependable and responsible employees. They can guide their children to choose wisely in making post-high school decisions.

            The third role of a father is to be the temporal provider. The Lord gives men the responsibility to provide for their families in such a way that their wife can fulfill her role as the mother in the home.

            The role of a father is to provide for his family, preside over his family, and to protect his family. The family should be a father’s highest priority on earth because the family is the only unit that can endure beyond the grave. Elder Perry quotes President Joseph F. Smith as saying the following (“The Rights of Fatherhood,” Juvenile Instructor, 1 Mar. 1902, 146):

The position which men occupy in the family, and especially those who hold the Melchizedek Priesthood, is one of first importance and should be clearly recognized and maintained in the order and with the authority which God conferred upon man in placing him at the head of his household.

… There is no higher authority in matters relating to the family organization, and especially when that organization is presided over by one holding the higher priesthood, than that of the father. … The patriarchal order is of divine origin and will continue throughout time and eternity. There is then a particular reason why men, women, and children should understand this order and this authority in the households of the people of God, and seek to make it what God intended it to be, a qualification and preparation for the highest exaltation of His children. In the home the presiding authority is always vested in the father, and in all home affairs and family matters there is no other authority paramount.

            I recognize that in the world today there are many people who ridicule and condemn the patriarchal order. I know hundreds of men who are righteous patriarchs in their homes, and I know that the patriarchal order is of God. Therefore, I believe that those who condemn it do not understand it or are willfully trying to destroy the power and authority of the position of a patriarch. I am grateful to belong to a family that understands the place of the patriarch and the matriarch in a family. Husband and wife stand together as co-presidents in their family. They work together as coequals for the eternal good of their family.