How Do Parents Teach Racial Equality and Respect to Their Children?

            Families, communities, and nations are stronger when individuals celebrate the similarities and differences in diversity. There are more similarities among humans than there are differences, and this is true when discussing sex, race, or ethnicity. If we were to look at skeletons, we would see few differences between the sexes and fewer differences between races or ethnicities. This should not surprise anyone who believes that we are all children of the same loving Heavenly Father.


            I wanted to write something tonight that may help parents to teach their children about race and racism. I have little experience with this topic. I grew up in an area where there were no Blacks at all and in the era when television was just coming to my area. I did not see a Black person in real life until I was an adult. I remember that one of my favorite books in elementary school was about Booker T. Washington and his accomplishments. I lived in an area where there were many Native Americans (Indians back in that day), and I was taught to respect them as children of God.


            I think that my first encounter with teaching my children about race was about 1978 when my second daughter was about four years old. We were in a store and in a check out line behind a Black woman. My daughter wanted to know what was wrong with the woman’s skin. I explained to her that there was nothing wrong with her skin, and that she was just like us with a different colored skin. My daughter seemed to accept my explanation. I apologized to the woman for my daughter’s curiosity. She later told me about her boyfriend in kindergarten that had black curly hair. Another daughter was best friends with a beautiful black girl who was in my home numerous times.


            I live in a diversified city. I saw a chart a few days ago showing that schools in my city – elementary, middle school, and high school – are the most diverse in the nation. I do not know how accurate the charts are, but I know for a fact that we have the following groups: Whites from numerous nations, Alaska Natives, Native Americans, Blacks, Brazilians, Mexicans and other Spanish-speaking nationalities, Japanese, Philippine, and several different Asian nations, Hawaiians, Samoans, Tongans, and Hmong. In my area of town and in my Church congregations over the years, I have worked with members of all these groups except maybe Native American, Tongan, and Hmong. There are probably other groups that I do not remember because race is not important to me. I see that people are a certain race, but I do not consider it as important. 

I was saddened during the Obama years because he and his administration kept emphasizing race. I believe that racial problems would quickly fade if people stopped talking about it. However, parents have the important responsibility to teach about race, racism, and racial equality. From what I have found in my searches, these teaching began in infancy – just like manners, intimacy, spiritual matters, etc. The teaching starts in small ways and builds through the years.

I found several sources that may help parents, but I believe that this article by Alex Mlynek and titled “How to Talk to Kids about Racism: An Age-by-Age Guide” would be helpful for me. The author began the article with this paragraph:

They’re never too young, and an ongoing dialogue about race and racism is a really good idea, says Rachel Berman, graduate program director of the School of Early Childhood Studies at Ryerson University in Toronto and a researcher on a project called Can We Talk About Race? Confronting Colour-Blindness in Early Childhood Settings. “Children need adults to help them develop respect for and acceptance of others,” she says. “Not talking about race and racism sends a message to children that this is a taboo topic, no matter what their age.” What’s more, she adds, kids who may be targets of racism may need help negotiating their feelings and figuring out how to respond to what they’re experiencing.

            The article has suggestions for each age group, but it emphasizes that children can be taught about race and racial differences if parents “create an environment where they can learn about the differences and similarities between people of different races, cultures and religions at an early age.” Infants and toddlers can learn from picture books, television shows, and movies that “celebrate kids of all colours, cultures and religions, but include examples of these kids doing everyday things so that they won’t see difference as exotic.” Parents can also seek out “diverse playgroups and child care” and be ready to answer questions.


            Preschoolers, beginning about three years of age, “start to use race” to choose friends and may make hurtful statements about other races. If not careful, parents can pass on their own prejudices and bias to their children before they are old enough to understand racism. It is important that parents take children’s “comments and questions seriously.”


            When children start school, their circle of acquaintances widens. They may be getting “subtle, often unspoken messages from TV, movies and politicians about who has power and who is valued in our society.” Parents “must start teaching them to be critical readers and viewers” by asking questions that cause the children to think. A suggested book for this age is Let’s Talk About Race by Julius Lester, which discusses differences and similarities.


            This is about the time that children need to learn “ways to combat racism and prejudice,” but it is “important to keep details age-appropriate.” There are numerous stories about individuals and groups were treated unfairly, but it is “necessary to help kids realize that racism and prejudice aren’t confined to the past.” With current events, parents should “tell kids the truth, giving them age-appropriate information, but let them lead the conversation.” This is a topic that parents “must approach … head-on if we want to change the world.”


            Preteens and teenagers can understand “more in-depth conversations around issues of racism and prejudice” and how they relate to them. These ages spend more time online and can find incorrect or biased information. “Parents should encourage their kids to think critically about any source and, if you believe your children’s views are extreme, try to correct any myths they have.”


            When children and teenagers are exposed in positive ways to people who look different or believe differently, they are more likely to learn tolerance and respect for those who are different.  Parents who teach their children properly about race and racial differences can prepare them to deal more effectively in the world and thus strengthen their community and nation.