Why Is Personal Connection Important in Families?

Families are stronger when each family member is “present” when they are physically together. How many times have you noticed a family sitting at a table in restaurant, not talking, visiting, and laughing together, but each person is looking at their individual cell phone? I have had this experience numerous times, and Aimee Winder Newton had the same experience. Newton is the director of the Utah Office of Families and a senior advisor to Utah Governor Spencer Cox. She is also the mother of four young adults and the grandmother of a two-year-old. 

In her article published in the Deseret News, Newton described her experience of watching “a family sitting together at a restaurant. Everyone at the table was looking down at a screen. No one was talking.” She recognized that such a situation is common in our busy, demanding world. Yet, “connection is exactly what children and teens need most right now.”

Across Utah, young people are reporting higher levels of stress, anxiety, loneliness and depression. Parents feel it too. Many families are doing their best to simply keep up with the demands of everyday life, wondering if they’re doing enough and searching for ways to help their children feel supported and secure.

The good news is that strong family relationships are not built through perfection. They are built in ordinary moments. This could be a conversation on the drive home from school. A child crawling onto the couch to talk at the end of a long day. A family dinner where phones are set aside long enough for everyone to laugh, vent or tell a story. Those moments may seem small, but over time, they become the foundation children stand on.

So do we underestimate the power of simply being present?

Children do not need perfect parents. They need parents and caregivers who notice them, listen to them and make space for connection amid the distractions of everyday life. In fact, research continues to show that positive family relationships help children become more resilient, less likely to struggle with anxiety and depression, and better equipped to make healthy decisions as they grow.

Even small, intentional moments can make a lasting difference. Do we fully appreciate the power of a family meal?

Utah youth who eat at least one meal a week with their family are:

·       45% less likely to feel depressed.

·       70% less likely to vape.

·       54% less likely to consider suicide.

Those statistics matter. The more meals you have as a family each week, the more protective factors your kids will have.

I bear witness to the value of families eating dinner together. I failed numerous ways as a mother, but my family ate dinner together every night with few exceptions. My adult children are close friends and arrange their own togetherness activities without any urging or input from me. This is one of the many great blessings that they bring into my life.

One of the simplest changes many families can make is creating more screen-free time together. Technology has become part of nearly every aspect of our lives, but it also competes for our attention in ways we don’t always realize. When meals, car rides or evenings at home are constantly interrupted by phones and devices, opportunities for conversation slowly disappear.

When I was parenting teens, the time when they would open up the most was when I was getting ready to fall asleep for the night. It was late at night when my teens would knock on our bedroom door and come sit at the foot of our bed just to chat. I would be so exhausted, but [I] knew this was precious time and engagement was critical. Connection rarely happens on a perfect schedule. Often, children open up in unexpected moments, and being available for those conversations matters. That’s why this message is so important.

June 8-14 is Family Connection Week. A time when families are encouraged to participate in activities focused on building connections. This could be preparing a meal and eating together, going on a hike, visiting an attraction, or playing a game together. The Utah Department of Health and Human Services and the Utah Office of Families have created a resource hub at strongfamilies.utah.gov that offers easy, practical ideas families can do. 

Young people who have strong, supportive relationships at home are more resilient when challenges arise. They experience lower rates of anxiety and depression, are less likely to engage in risky behaviors, and are better equipped to make healthy decisions. In short, children who feel connected at home are more likely to thrive.

At a time when so many young people are struggling with loneliness and disconnection, family connection may be one of the most important investments we can make. Not because families are perfect, but because strong relationships create safety, trust and support.

If anyone thinks that connection is good only for young people, this site has valuable information for you. 

Connection makes a difference, no matter your age!

Kids aren’t the only ones who benefit from strong families. Positive, supportive, and warm social connections help us live longer, healthier lives. Family connections can help us manage stress, improve our mental and emotional well-being, and boost our self-confidence.

·       People who feel like they belong in their community are 2.6 times more likely to report good or excellent health than people who don’t. 

·       Knowing 6 or more of your neighbors reduces the likelihood of feeling lonely and is linked to lower depression, social anxiety, and financial concerns. 

One of my daughters called today and said that she has been reading/listening to a book about the effects of loneliness on people. Because she had the book on her mind, she decided to call me, and we visited for about forty-five minutes. It was an enjoyable experience for me because I often feel lonely, although I do not live by myself. I teased her, only partly in jest, that she should call her mother once each week to make sure that I am not lonely.