Temper Tantrums

                    Strong families have well-behaved children.  Parents owe it to their children to be consistent in their discipline and to confront bad behavior immediately.  Children become little tyrants who control the family if they are not carefully taught.

 

                    Many people do not like confrontation because it is uncomfortable for everyone involved and observing.  No one enjoys confronting another person about his/her bad behavior because it is not pleasant, but some people - including me at times - will go to any length to avoid confrontation.  When an eighteen-month-old or a two-year old throws a temper tantrum and throws himself/herself sprawled out on the floor, it is kind of cute.  When five-year-old tries the same trick, it is no longer cute but very embarrassing if public.  When a teenager or adult throws temper tantrums, it becomes destructive or even dangerous.

                    Parents must confront their child about bad behavior as soon as the bad behavior starts.  When that two-year-old understands that temper tantrums do not get them anywhere, the problem soon stops. 

I have a granddaughter who is resisting parental pressure to begun potty trained but wants her diaper to be changed immediately after soiling it.  I can tell by her behavior that she knows when she needs to go potty, but she resists.  When I recently babysat her, I caught her in the act of straining and asked if she needed to sit on the potty.  She answered no, and I explained to her that she would have to wear a soiled diaper for awhile if she made a mess in it.  Just a minute or two later, she wanted her diaper changed.  I reminded her about what I had said, and she immediately started a tantrum which lasted for 20 minutes.  I changed her diaper after she finally calmed down, and I would have changed it sooner without the temper tantrum.  I am stubborn enough to stand my ground until the tantrum ends!  I told her parents what I had done and suggested that this may be the motivation she needs to get potty trained.  I don't know if they will be consistent enough and strong enough to endure until she learns.

I have other grandchildren who have mastered the art of throwing temper tantrums when they don't get their way.  It is fairly embarrassing to have a child throw himself on the floor in a public place simply because he didn't get his way.   When the habit is well-ingrained, it is very difficult to eradicate.

Parents must be consistent in how they deal with temper tantrums.  They and their caregivers must be united in how they deal with the child.  One adult, even though consistent, cannot cure the tantrums.  Both parents, as well as all grandparents and caregivers, must adopt the philosophy of no temper tantrums and refuse to deal with them.  One serious consequence of allowing any child to become a tyrant is that other children see what is happening and follow the same behavior.  When children understand that tantrums do not get them anything, they will cease throwing temper tantrums.  Even two-year-olds can understand when an adult says, "No temper tantrums."

Children must be carefully and lovingly taught that certain behaviors are not acceptable, and the sooner the teaching begins, the easier the learning will be on the child.  Tyrants are difficult to live with, and child tyrants are one of the worst kind!  Families are strengthened when all members understand that civilized people use words to discuss problems rather than throw temper tantrums.

Limited Government

                    The liberty principle for this Freedom Friday is the simple fact that the opposite of "big government" is "limited government."  Instead of clamoring for "small government," conservatives should be demanding "limited government."

When the Founders framed the Constitution, they were very careful to limit the powers of the federal government.  In doing so, they set up a federal government with three branches - executive, legislative, and judicial - and gave each branch the responsibility to "check" the other two branches.

The Heritage Foundation blog entitled "New Common Sense - Applying FirstPrinciples to the Issues of Today" posted the following statement about the size of government.  "We conservatives are against `big government,' so we must be for `small government,' right?  Wrong.  We're for limited government.  Here is the difference.  The Constitution creates a federal government of enumerated (read: limited) powers.  When Congress acts within its legitimate scope - for instance, national defense - then it can do a lot.  There is nothing inherently contradictory about a limited government conservative supporting strong national defense, because that is within the federal government's constitutional responsibility.  On the other hand, for areas outside of the federal government's constitutional scope (Obamacare, anyone?), there is no role - big, small, or medium."

We must have a government large enough to govern our nation in their constitutionally-based roles, but we do not need our federal government taking over every part of our nation.  If conservatives want to be more effectively in demanding a limited government, we must drop the cliché of "smaller government."

Lou Henry Hoover

                    Lou Henry was born on March 29, 1874 in Waterloo, Iowa to Charles Delano Henry (banker) and his wife, Florence Ida Weed.   Lou grew up in Waterloo, Whittier (California), and Monterey (California) and apparently was quite the tom boy.  Lou's "greatest pleasure in her early teens" was to go camping in the hills with her father.  She became a "fine horsewoman;" she hunted "and preserved specimens with the skill of a taxidermist; she developed an enthusiasm for rocks, minerals, and mining."  Lou was a student at San Jose Normal School (later San Jose State University) and enrolled at Stanford University in 1894.  She was the only female majoring in geology.  She met a senior, Herbert Hoover, in her first year at Stanford.

                    Before Hoover graduated the following June, the young couple had an understanding but postponed a wedding "while she continued her education and he pursued his engineering career in Australia."  Hoover "cabled a marriage proposal" when Lou graduated from Stanford in 1898; Lou "promptly accepted by return wire."

                    Both bride and groom were 24 years old when they married at the home of the bride's parents in Monterey, California, on February 10, 1899.  Lou had been raised Episcopalian but became a Quaker; there was not a Quaker Meeting in Monterey so the civil marriage ceremony was performed by Father Ramon Mestres, a Roman Catholic priest.

                    The newlyweds sailed from San Francisco the next day for Shanghai, China, where they stayed at the Astor House Hotel for four days.  They set up housekeeping in a large house in Tianjin, where Hoover had a job that "required extensive travel throughout remote, primitive and dangerous areas.  Lou traveled with her husband and was with him during the Boxer Rebellion.  She had a "natural ear for languages" and quickly became proficient in Chinese.  Their language skills in Chinese became handy during their White House years when they would "converse in Chinese to foil eavesdroppers."  Lou Hoover is "the only First Lady to speak an Asian language.

                    Herbert and Lou eventually had two sons.  Herbert Charles Hoover, Jr. (1903 in London, England -1969 in Pasadena, California) "had traveled around the world twice with his globe-trotting parents" by the time he was two years old.  He graduated from Stanford University in 1925 and worked as an aircraft engineer as well as teaching for a brief period of time (1929-1929) at the Harvard Business School.  "Eventually he turned to geophysical engineering, founded the United Geophysical Company in 1935 and developed new electronic instruments to discover oil.  He mediated the 1953-1954 oil dispute between Britain and Iran "that provided for the latter to nationalize its petroleum."  He served in the Eisenhower Administration (1954-1957) as under-secretary of state for Middle Eastern affairs.

                    Allan Henry Hoover (1907 in London, England - 1993 in Portola Valley, California) graduated in economics from Stanford University in 1929 and earned a master's degree in 1931 from Harvard Business School.  He was in the banking industry as well as operated a ranch in California.  He eventually became a mining engineer.  He was a private man who shunned publicity throughout his career.

                    Lou Hoover "became a cultivated scholar and linguist" and a great assistant to her husband while he provided relief for Belgian refugees during World War I.  King Albert I of Belgium recognized her work in 1919.  While her husband was involved in the Administrations of President Harding and President Coolidge, Mrs. Hoover served as the national president of the Girl Scouts of the USA (1922-1925 and 1935-1937).  She was honored by having Camp Lou Henry Hoover in Middleville, New Jersey, named for her; the camp is run by the Heart of New Jersey Council of the Girl Scouts.

                    The official residence for the President of Stanford University is the Lou Henry and Herbert Hoover House in Palo Alto's foothills.  This house is near the campus's Hoover Tower, home of the Hoover Institution and is designated as a National Historic Landmark.  Mrs. Hoover also had two elementary schools named after her:  Lou Henry Hoover Elementary School in Whittier (1938) and Lou Henry Elementary School in Waterloo in 2005.  At San Jose State University one of brick dorms known as "The Classics" was named "Hoover Hall" in honor of Mrs. Hoover.  Lou funded the construction of the Lou Henry Hoover Girl Scout House, the first Girl Scout house in Palo Alto, California; this house is the "oldest Girl Scout House in continuous use in the country."

                    While she was First Lady, Mrs. Hoover oversaw the building of the presidential retreat at Rapidan Camp in Virginia.  She distinguished herself by being the first First Lady to have regular broadcasts as a guest speaker on a number of occasions from 1929 through 1933.  She advocated for volunteerism or discussed the work of the Girl Scouts.  "Radio critics praised her for having an excellent radio voice and for speaking with confidence."  She also discontinued the New Year's Day reception, an annual event started by Abigail Adams.

                    Mrs. Hoover died of a heart attack on January 7, 1944, in New York City, twenty years previous to Herbert's death in 1964.  Lou was originally buried in Palo Alto, California, but was reburied next to the President at West Branch, Iowa, in 1964.

Graduation Speeches

                   June is notable for the many graduations that take place, but the graduation speeches do not usually make headline news.  I am linking to three different graduation speeches that I think every high school and university graduate should hear.  One of the speeches was actually delivered, one was written in a book, and one speaker was invited but cancelled.  These speeches may insult some of my readers who are in education.  I do not intend to insult any teacher who is in the teaching profession to help students.  You and I both know that there are both good and bad teachers in our education system.  Good teachers need not feel insulted for they see clearly what is happening in our systems, but any teacher who is there for their own benefits and to use the students needs to wake up and speak truth.

                    The first speech is entitled "The Commencement Speech You Need to Hear" and was written by Neal Boortz, a lawyer and nationally-syndicated radio host.  Boortz was never invited to deliver a commencement speech; this site gives an excerpt from Boortz' book by the same title.  Some few paragraphs out of the speech follow.

                    "You may not like much of what I have to say, and that's fine. This isn't the first time you're not going to like what someone has to say … your bosses, for instance.  Things change today.  There will be a lot less pandering to your every whim, and a lot more demands for performance.  You will remember what I had to say though.  Especially after about 10 years out there in the real world.  This, of course, does not apply to those of you who will seek your careers and your fortunes as government employees … or as college professors….

                    "You are the victims of a terrible fraud.  You have just completed your travels through an educational system that had no real intention of educating you … at least not too much.

                    "You're pretty hot at research right now, aren't you?  While those skills are still with you, perhaps you would like to put them to work studying the start of compulsory government education in the early part of the last century.  Do you really think that the goal of our compulsory government education system has been to actually educate you?

                    "Did you study H. L. Mencken?  In 1924 he wrote an article for the American Mercury where he defined the true aim of our then-fledgling system of education.  Listen carefully:

                    "The aim of public education is not to fill the young of the species with knowledge and awaken their intelligence. … Nothing could be further from the truth.  The aim … is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed and train a standardized citizenry, to put down dissent and originality.   That is the aim in the United States and that is its aim everywhere else.

                    "Think about this.  Who owns the schools?  The government.  Who mandates attendance?  The government.  Who staffs the schools?  The government …with government workers.  Who directs the work of the schools?  The government.  Can you see where it is in the best interests of government to suppress dissent and originality?  Can you understand why government would want a standardized citizenry?  Those who dissent; those who produce originality of thought; those who exceed the standards are a threat to what?  The status quo, that's what … and government likes the calming influence of the status quo.

                    There is an amazing book that you need to put at the top of your reading list … The book is by John Taylor Gatto, and it's called "The Underground History of American Education."  Gatto was the teacher of the year in New York City.  He wrote an extraordinary letter to the Wall Street Journal in 2001.  Let me share the first part of that letter with you:

                    "I've taught public school for 26 years but I just can't do it anymore.  For years I asked the local school board and superintendent to let me teach a curriculum that doesn't hurt kids, but they had other fish to fry.  So I'm going to quit, I think.

                    "I've come slowly to understand what it is I really teach:  A curriculum of confusion, class position, arbitrary justice, vulgarity, rudeness, disrespect for privacy, indifference to quality, and utter dependence.  I teach how to fit into a world I don't want to live in.

                    "I just can't do it anymore.  I can't train children to wait to be told what to do; I can't train people to drop what they are doing when a bell sounds; I can't persuade children to feel some justice in their class placement when there isn't any, and I can't persuade children to believe teachers have valuable secrets they can acquire by becoming our disciples.  That isn't true.

                    "Just google `I quit, I think' and you can read the rest of Gatto's letter to the Wall Street Journal.  You've been had … big time.  Read the letter.  You'll see how - and how bad.

                    "Can you see why government would want to keep you dumbed down and placated?  Gatto's book explains it all.  He talks about the effort to bring the Prussian style of education to the United States in the early 1990s.  He describes his shock that Americans were too eager to adopt what he calls `one of the very worst aspects of Prussian culture … an educational system deliberately designed to produce mediocre intellects, to hamstring the inner life, to deny students appreciable leadership skills, and to ensure docile and incomplete citizens in order to render the populace `manageable.'

                    "So … do you think you know enough to be a threat to the ruling class?"

                    Boortz continued telling the "graduates" how bad their education was, and then he ended his "speech" with the following summary.  "Now, before the dean has me shackled and hauled off, I have a few random thoughts.  You need to register to vote, unless you're part of the moocher class.  If you are living off the efforts of others, please do us the favor of sitting down and shutting up until you are on your own again.  While we're paying the bills you can keep your gripes to yourself.  As long as we're taking care of you we would appreciate it if you would just sit down, shut up and get a skill.  Or have the decency to just stay out of our way so we can get the job done.

                    "When you do vote, your votes for the House and the Senate are more important than your vote for president.  The Houses controls the purse strings, so concentrate your awareness there…..

                    "Don't bow to the temptation to use the government as an instrument of plunder.  If its is wrong for you to take money from someone else who earned it - to take their money by force for your own needs - then it is certainly just as wrong for you to demand that the government step forward and do this dirty work for you.

                    "Don't look in other people's pockets.  You have no business there.  What they earn is theirs.  What you manage to earn is yours.  Keep it that way.  Nobody owes you anything, except to respect your privacy and your rights, and leave you the …. Alone.

                    "Speaking of earning, the revered 40-hour workweek is for losers.  Forty hours should be considered the minimum, not the maximum.  You don't see highly successful people docking out of the office every afternoon at five.  The losers are the ones caught up in that afternoon rush hour.  The winners drive home in the dark.

                    "Free speech is meant to protect unpopular speech.  Popular speech, by definition, needs no protection.

                    "Finally (and aren't you glad to hear that word), as Og Mandino wrote, 1) Proclaim your rarity.  Each of you is a rare and unique human being.  2) Use wisely your power of choice.  3) Go the extra mile … drive home in the dark.  Care as much about America's future as you do about American Idol."

                    Gerald Molen was invited to speak at commencement at a high school in Montana.  He drove ninety miles to the high school only to be told that he could not deliver his speech.  He believes the cancellation took place because he is a conservative.  Molen, as co-producer of Schindler's List with Steven Spielberg and producer of other Hollywood blockbusters as well as a former Marine, is a popular motivational speaker and "not accustomed to being shunned."  When the news got out, the superintendent of the school district announced that the principle would not be working in his district next school year.

                    David McCullough, Jr., son of historian DavidMcCullough, teacher at Wellesley High School and recent commencement speaker at the high school is probably in trouble with some of the people in his community because he dared to tell the truth.  As a parent, I know that parents do not enjoy hearing that our children are any less than the best.  Some of McCullough's comments follow.

                    "You are not special.  You are not exceptional.

                    "Contrary to what your u9 soccer trophy suggests, your glowing seventh grade report card, despite every assurance of a certain corpulent purple dinosaur, that nice Mister Rogers and your batty Aunt Sylvia, no matter how often your maternal caped crusader has swooped in to save you … you're nothing special.

                    "Yes, you've been pampered, cosseted, doted upon, helmeted, bubble-wrapped.  Yes, capable adults with other things to do have held you, kissed you, fed you, wiped your mouth, wiped your bottom, trained you, taught you, tutored you, coached you, listened to you, counseled you, encouraged you, consoled you and encouraged you again.  You've been nudged, cajoled, wheedled and implored.  You've been feted and fawned over and called sweetie pie.  Yes, you have.  And, certainly, we've been to your games, your plays, your recitals, your science fairs.  Absolutely, smiles ignite when you walk into a room, and hundreds gasp with delight at your every tweet.  Why, maybe you've had your picture in the Townsman!  [Editor's upgrade:  Or The Swellesley Report!] And now you've conquered high school … and, indisputably, here we all have gathered for you, the pride and joy of this fine community, the first to emerge from that magnificent new building….

                    "But do not get the idea you're anything special.  Because you're not….

                    "`But, Dave,' you cry, `Walt Whitman tells me I'm my own version of perfection!  Epictetus tells me I have the spark of Zeus!'  And I don't disagree.  So that makes 6.8 billion examples of perfection, 6.8 billion sparks of Zeus.  You see, if everyone is special, then no one is.  If everyone gets a trophy, trophies become meaningless.  In our unspoken but not so subtle Darwinian competition with one another - which springs, I think, from our fear of our own insignificance, a subset of our dread of mortality - we have of late, we Americans, to our detriment, come to love accolades more than genuine achievement.  We have come to see them as the point - and we're happy to compromise standards, or ignore reality, if we suspect that's the quickest way, or only way, to have something to put on the mantelpiece, something to pose with, crow about, something with which to leverage ourselves into a better spot on the social totem pole.  No longer is it how you play the game, no longer is it even whether you win or lose, or learn or grow, or enjoy yourself doing it….  Now it's `So what does this get me?'  As a consequence, we cheapen worthy endeavors, and building a Guatemalan medical clinic becomes more about the application to Bowdoin than the well-being of Guatemalans.  It's an epidemic - and in its way, not even dear old Wellesley High is immune… one of the best of the 37,000 nationwide, Wellesley High School… where good is no longer good enough, where a B is the new C, and the midlevel curriculum is called Advanced College Placement.  And I hope you caught me when I said `one of the best.'  I said `one of the best' so we can feel better about ourselves, so we can bask in a little easy distinction, however vague and unverifiable, and count ourselves among the elite, whoever they might be, and enjoy a perceived leg up on the perceived competition.  But the phrase defies logic.  By definition there can be only one best.  You're it or you're not….."

                    The entire speech is interesting and important for young people to hear as they leave high school and university and move into real life.  Parents and other adults must stop pampering the rising generation and stop rewarding mediocrity; instead, we must prepare them to be the leaders of tomorrow.  I am grateful that some speakers are willing to be truthful!

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Greatness of Herbert Hoover

                    Herbert Clark Hoover (August 10, 1874 - October 20, 1964) is ranked poorly among United States Presidents by historians.  This ranking apparently comes from his "failure to end the downward economic spiral" of the Great Depression.  I however believe that he belongs in the great category - certainly higher on the list than Jimmy Carter, Richard Nixon, or Lyndon B. Johnson.

                    Hoover was a professional mining engineer and author who served as United States Secretary of Commerce in the 1920s under President Warren Harding and President Calvin Coolidge.  In this position "he promoted partnerships between government and business under the rubric `economic modernization.'  He easily won the Republican nomination in presidential election of 1928 even though he had no previous experience in an elected office.  He won a landslide victory over Democrat Al Smith, probably due to the fact that the nation was "prosperous and optimistic at the time."

                    Due to his engineering training, Hoover believed in the "Efficiency Movement."  This theory "held that the government and the economy were riddled with inefficiency and waste, and could be improved by experts who could identify the problems and solve them.  He also believed in the importance of volunteerism and the role of individuals in playing a role in American society and the economy."

                    President Hoover was the first of only two Presidents who chose to "redistribute their salary."  (President John F. Kennedy donated all his paychecks to charity.)  Hoover had made money in mining and apparently didn't need the salary as President. 

                    The Wall Street Crash of 1929 took place less than eight months after Hoover took office, and Hoover tried to hold off the Great Depression with "volunteer efforts, public works projects such as the Hoover Dam, tariffs such as the Smoot-Hawley Tariff, an increase in the top tax bracket from 25% to 63%, and increases in corporate taxes."  The Hoover initiatives didn't do much to bring economic recovery, but they did lay the groundwork for several policies in the New Deal of FDR. 

                    After Hoover left office he became a leading conservative voice in opposing many of the policies, both domestic and foreign, of FDR's New Deal.  President Harry S. Truman brought Hoover back into government service in 1947 in an effort to make the federal government more efficient through the Hoover Commission.

                    Some quotes by President Hoover follow.  Other Hoover quotes can be found at this site.

                    "About the time we can make the ends meet, somebody moves the ends."

                    "America - a great social and economic experiment, noble in motive and far-reaching in purpose."

                    "Children are our most valuable natural resource."

                    "Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt."

                    "Competition is not only the basis of protection to the consumer, but is the incentive to progress."

                    "Economic depression cannot be cured by legislative action or executive pronouncement.  Economic wounds must be healed by the action of the cells of the economic body - the producers and consumers themselves."

                    "Freedom is the open window through which pours the sunlight of the human spirit and human dignity."

                    "Honor is not the exclusive property of any political party."

                    "If the law is upheld only by government officials, then all law is at an end."

                    "It is a paradox that every dictator has climbed to power on the ladder of free speech.  Immediately on attaining power each dictator has suppressed all free speech except his own."

                    "It is just as important that business keep out of government as that government keep out of business."

                    "New discoveries in science will continue to create a thousand new frontiers for those who still would adventure."

                    "No greater nor more affectionate honor can be conferred on an American than to have a public school named after him."

                    "No public man can be just a little crooked."

                    "Older men declare war.  But it is the youth that must fight and die."

                    "Once upon a time my political opponents honored me as possessing the fabulous intellectual and economic power by which I created a worldwide depression all by myself."

                    "Peace is not made at the council table or by treaties, but in the hearts of men."

                    "Prosperity cannot be restored by raids upon the public Treasury."

                    "The use of the atomic bomb, with its indiscriminate killing of women and children, revolts my soul."

                    "When there is a lack of honor in government, the morals of the whole people are poisoned."

                    "When we are sick, we want an uncommon doctor; when we have a construction job to do, we want an uncommon engineer, and when we are at war, we want an uncommon general.  It is only when we get into politics that we are satisfied with the common man."

                    "With impressive proof on all sides of magnificent progress, no one can rightly deny the fundamental correctness of our economic system."

                   

No State Troops in Peace

                    The topic of discussion for this Constitution Monday comes from Article I Section 10, Clause 3:  "No State shall without the Consent of Congress, … keep Troops, or Ships of War in time of Peace."  This clause in the Constitution gave the responsibility and control of the armed forces to Congress, particularly in determining the military strength during a time of peace.

                    "The great fear of the Founders was the threat represented by standing armies in the hands of ambitious politicians.  This provision gave the Congress the power to intervene at any time if it saw a governor or military leader in a state mobilizing a body of troops or building ships of war.

                    "It should be mentioned that the state militia, which exists for the protection of the people and is made up of non-professional civilians, is not considered to be `troops' within the meaning of this clause" (W. Cleon Skousen in The Making of America - The Substance and Meaning of the Constitution, p. 503).

                                        

Disposable Dads

                    Do you believe that fathers are disposable in our society today?  Many people do, but I do not.  I believe that God created us as male and female for a very important reason and that reason is for his children to be reared in homes headed by a father and a mother.  I believe fathers hold a very important place as the leader or head of the home with mothers as the heart. I believe that families can survive without fathers in the home but have great difficulty in prospering.

Brad Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, reminded us of the importance of married biological fathers in the home:  "Dads are disposable.  This is the story now being told in certain precincts of our culture, from the Hollywood Hills - `Women are realizing it more and more, knowing that they don't have to settle with a man just to have that child,' in the words of Jennifer Anniston - to the Ivy League - Cornell psychologist Peggy Drexler recently wrote a book, Raising Boys Without Men, that celebrated women raising children without fathers.

                    "There is only one problem with this story:  it is a myth that does not fit the facts.

                    "Do not get me wrong.  I was raised by a single mom, and I think I turned out OK, as do many children raised in fatherless homes.  But as a social scientist, I can also tell you that one consistent conclusion from hundreds of studies on child well-being is this:  on average, children are much more like to thrive when they have the good fortune to be raised in a home with their own married father."

                    My father was a product of a "broken home" because his parents divorced when he was twelve.  The divorce was the culmination of years of separation and contention, but it did not stop the violence of a father toward his son.   He wrote in his autobiography, "My Mother has written in her story that she was a discarded wife and I think now that is about the way I felt.  The son of an unloved wife and I think I grew up with an inferiority complex - one to be worked as much as possible and given as little as possible.  I think this has had a great effect in my life.  I remember many mornings getting up and making the fire in the cook stove, doing the chores, and going to school without any breakfast because no one else was up to fix any and no one cared."

                    I did not know my paternal grandfather because he passed away before I was born, and I do not want to appear as though I am judging him or his fathering.  I can however state that Dad learned to be a father by personal experience rather than by following the example of his father.  Dad chose to set a different course than the one chosen by his own father.  He chose a life of spirituality and obedience to the commandments of God; he kept his baptismal, marital, and temple covenants.  He set the highest standards of temple and family history work.  He became a giant in righteousness, and his many descendants honor him as a great patriarch.

                    Dad taught us to become the best people we could be.  He told us not to judge our parents and grandparents and taught us that each generation should be better than the preceding one.  He lived his beliefs and became a good father and grandfather.  Just as my father grew and became a better man as the years passed, my view of Dad changed over the years.  I wrote the following poem for my dad as a gift for Father's Day about 1977-1978, and I think it pleased him very much.

                                I used to think he was old and mean,

                                But as I grew up, I became more keen.

                                Hard work and lectures and spankings too

                                Were what I needed to be good and true.

                                He set the example, working hard all day.

                                He always told us, "Work before play."

                               This is a lesson I'm glad I learned

For now I can teach it in return.

He tilled the soil and planted the seed,

"If we don't sow, we cannot reap."

Life on the farm was hard and long,

But twelve little children grew up strong.

Although he was busy, he worked for the Lord.

He held many positions in our ward.

Genealogy and weekly temple work

Are some of the duties he does not shirk.

He sets good examples for our family.

And he always counsels, "Be better than me."

With a father like mine, it's easy to see

Just how much my Heavenly Father loves me.

                                       

                    Many good men and women come out of broken homes, but I think they do so with great effort.  The greatest gift a father can give to his children is to love their mother.  The next greatest gift is to love the children unconditionally.  I am grateful that my children survived my education on being a mother; I am also very grateful that my grandchildren are being reared in homes where their fathers take an active part in the teaching and training of the children.  Fathers are a very important part of their children's lives, and they are not disposable!