Most of us have been angry at one time or another or
have been around someone else that became angry. Many of us have seen or heard of the results
of groups of people becoming angry. Many
people in the world have the understanding that anger is an acceptable reaction
to situations we do not like and that violence and revenge are acceptable ways
of dealing with anger. I am writing this
essay in the hopes that all of us can learn better ways to recognize and
overcome our angry feelings. We all must
learn to control these powerful emotions in order to enter God's kingdom.
The scriptures teach us that the Lord does not
approve of anger. The Apostle Paul
taught, "Let all bitterness, and
wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with
all malice:
"And
be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God
for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:31-32).
Jesus Christ taught the Nephites, "For verily, verily I say unto you, he that
hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the
father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with
anger, one with another
"Behold,
this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against
another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away" (3 Nephi 11:29-30).
President Howard W. Hunter, fourteenth President
of the Church, said: "We need to be
slower to anger and more prompt to help.
We need to extend the hand of friendship and resist the hand of
retribution. In short, we need to love
one another with the pure love of Christ … for that is the way God loves
us" (Ensign, May 1992, 61).
Anger is a natural human response, but it can be
harmful to us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We must learn to overcome anger in order to
become like Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
Imagine
a world where there is no anger. In such
a world we would see disagreements being solved more easily. We would see people enjoying more peace and
spiritual strength. We would find
happier families and neighborhoods, fewer violent crimes, less abuse, little or
no divorce, no riots, and possibly no wars.
In
learning to control our angry feelings, we must remember that anger is a
secondary emotion. We feel something
else before we feel anger. We might feel
embarrassment. We might feel that we
have been treated unfairly. We might be
upset because we are not getting our own way.
We might be confused or misunderstand the situation.
The important thing that we must understand about
anger is that we have a choice on how we will respond to anything. No matter what the reason is that we become
angry, we can control how we will act or react.
The scriptures give us counsel about handling
anger. "He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth
his spirit than he that taketh a city." (Proverbs 16:32).
"But
now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy
communication out of your mouth" (Colossians 3:8).
"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be
swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.
"For the wrath of man worketh not the
righteousness of God" (James
1:19-20).
There
are several possible ways of dealing with anger. 1) We can choose to wait before we say or do
anything. We can count to ten or one
hundred or higher if necessary. We can
take ourselves out of the area. This
gives us an opportunity to think about the situation and possible reasons why
something happened. It also gives us an
opportunity to calm down. 2) We can talk it out with someone. If we are angry with a person, we should talk
with that person if at all possible. We
should stay calm but direct. 3) We can
pray and ask Heavenly Father to help us deal with the situation. We can also ask him to take away our anger
and help us forgive the person or people who have hurt us. I remember a time when I took a problem to the
Lord, and the Lord replied with these words, "Think about how _____
feels." 4) We can exercise. Doing a physical activity releases the
tension that comes from anger. I
remember vigorously vacuuming when angry and feeling great by the time I
finished.
One important point that we must remember is that
we will gain more satisfaction from controlling our anger that we would seeking
revenge or expressing anger in other negative ways. We are each responsible to control our own
behavior, and we should let the Lord take care of those who have wronged us.
We can help other people control their anger when
we control our own anger. "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger"
(Proverbs 15:1).
We must learn to overcome our anger if we want to
be more like Jesus Christ. The first
step is learning to control our actions when we get angry; the ultimate goal is
to learn not to become angry in the first place.
Some people justify their anger by saying that
even God becomes angry. The scriptures
speak of the wrath or anger of God.
Other scripture tells us that Christ was angry when He drove the money
changers out of the temple (see Mark 11:15-17).
The Lord was totally in control of himself; He did not show any
hostility or seek revenge. God's
"anger" is sometimes called "righteous anger," and its
purpose is to bless God's children, manifest truth, and destroy wickedness.
Jesus Christ is the perfect example of how to act
when faced with a difficult situation.
Elder ElRay L. Christiansen, who was an Assistant to the Twelve Apostles,
stated: "Jesus set the example in
personal conduct regarding anger when, although he had been falsely accused and
made the subject of railings and mockery, he stood majestically and completely
composed before the perplexed Pontius Pilate.
He did not retaliate in anger.
Rather, he stood erect, poised, unmoved.
His conduct was divine. What an
example for all of us!
"Listen to these marvelous words of the
Savior, the master teacher:
"`Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou
shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
"`But I say unto you, Love your enemies,
bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them
which despitefully use you, and persecute you.'
(Matt. 5:43-44.)" (in Ensign,
June 1971, 38).
The words to the hymn entitled "School Thy
Feelings" (Hymns, no. 336) were
written in 1869 by Charles W. Penrose, who later became a member of the Quorum
of the Twelve Apostles. Elder Penrose
had been serving in the presidency of the Birmingham
(England
School thy feelings, O my brother; Train thy warm, impulsive soul.
Do
not its emotions smother, But let wisdom's voice control.
School
thy feelings; there is power In the cool, collected mind.
Passion
shatters reason's tower, Makes the clearest vision blind.
Chorus: School thy feelings, O my brother; Train thy
warm, impulsive soul.
Do
not its emotions smother, But let wisdom's voice control.
School
thy feelings; condemnation Never pass on friend or foe,
Though
the tide of accusation Like a flood of truth may flow.
Hear
defense before deciding, And a ray of light may gleam.
Showing
thee what filth is hiding Underneath the shallow stream.
Should
affliction's acrid vial Burst o'er thy unsheltered head,
School
thy feelings to the trial; Half its bitterness hath fled,
Art
thou falsely, basely, slandered? Does
the world begin to frown?
Gauge
thy wrath by wisdom's standard; Keep thy rising anger down.
Rest
thyself on this assurance: Time's a
friend to innocence,
And
the patient, calm endurance Wins respect and aids defense.
Noblest
minds have finest feelings; Quiv'ring strings a breath can move;
And
the gospel's sweet revealings Tune them with the key of love.
Hearts
so sensitively molded Strongly fortified should be,
Trained
to firmness and enfolded In a calm tranquility.
Wound
not willfully another; Conquer haste with reason's might;
School
thy feelings, sister, brother; Train them in the path of right.
I know that we must learn to overcome anger if we want
to mature spiritually and become more like Heavenly Father and Jesus
Christ. I know that we can pray for
Heavenly Father's help in overcoming anger.
I encourage all of us to use positive responses the next time we feel angry.
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