Pornography is
all around us. It graces the covers of
magazines at checkout stands. It is in
movies. It comes into our homes through the
Internet and movies. The more I learn
about pornography, the more I understand how damaging it is to young and
old. It is particularly damaging to
marriages and future marriages.
Billy Hallowell, a blogger,
writer, speaker, and professional truth sayer, published at theblaze.com reported on a new
study that analyzed how pornography affects young men. The study was titled “Are Pornography and
Marriage Substitutes for Young Men?” The
study was conducted by Dr. Michael Malcolm, a professor of economics and
finance at the University of West Chester, Pennsylvania, and George Naufal of
Timberlake Consultants. Their study
“found that smut has become a replacement for marriage for many of the 18-35
year old males who use it.” The report
explains how pornography causes young adult men to satisfy their sexual needs
without the problems involved with marriage.
Matt Walsh published at
theblaze.com an article
explaining how men “are hurting your wife and killing your marriage” in four
different ways. He listed pornography as
#1.
“There probably isn’t a more
efficient way to make your wife feel betrayed, used, and violated than picking
up a porn habit. Obviously adultery
would also accomplish all of those things, but porn is adultery….
“There are a lot of reasons to
hate pornography, but one of the reasons certainly has something to do with how
delusional it makes us. Many married
guys insist there’s nothing wrong with it….
“He rationalizes that what he
does and says there won’t impact people, including himself, the same way it would
in three dimensions. There’s no basis
for this rationalization. It makes no
sense, yet we all fool ourselves into thinking it, for one reason or another. Still, despite the lies we tell ourselves, a
woman who discovers porn on her husband’s computer will feel just like a woman
who finds out about her husband’s affair.
And that feeling will only be made worse by the fact that her husband
will claim it’s `no big deal’ and much of society will echo those sentiments.
“This says nothing of what porn
does to us as men. It becomes an
addiction just like any other. It
lessens us. It pulls us away from our
families, away from our wives, away from God.
It makes us liars and hypocrites.
I think any man’s porn compulsion comes wrapped in a thick layer of
guilt, but that must especially be the case for men with daughters. … I cringe particularly when I think of older
fathers who look at porn involving women the same age as their own
children. It’s perverse and disgusting. These men are not bad people, but they are
doing a bad thing – a bad thing that, to make matters worse, has been dressed
up as innocent and playful.
“It’s definitely not an easy
time to be a virtuous man. Everywhere we
look there are words and images trying to grab our attention and send us into a
spiral of lust and sexual greed…. It’s
easy to give in, but we have to fight it.
We owe ourselves that much, and more importantly we owe our wives. Porn is adultery. Porn will wreck your marriage, guaranteed.”
I know a young woman who agonized
over the fact that her husband was addicted to pornography. Her marriage was annulled three months after
the wedding. Three years later she
married another young man; they have two children and are very happy. She was smart to get out of the marriage
early and before any children joined the family.
The effects of pornography
stretch far and wide. A husband and
father that uses pornography damages not only his marriage but the future
marriages of his sons and daughters, grandsons and granddaughters. Pornography is poison, and it destroys
marriages and families.
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