Families are stronger when parents seek to balance their demands and their responses to their children. There are four basic types of parents: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. Team Beenke described the four different types of parents.
Authoritarian parents are demanding, but
not responsive…. big believers in setting rules for children to follow, but not
much interested in taking their kids’ point of view into consideration…. very strict
and controlling … tend to use punishment instead of discipline…. So rather than
teaching a child how to make better choices, they focus on getting kids to feel
“sorry” for their actions and be obedient.
Children … are at a higher risk of having
low self-esteem because their input and opinions aren’t valued … can be
well-behaved and do well in school, but … become skilled liars in order to
avoid punishment. Children … may also grow up to be anxious adults … [and] …
higher levels of depression.
Authoritative parents seek a balance
between a child’s desire for freedom and their need to be listened to. These
parents are both demanding and responsive; meaning they have rules and
consequences but they also consider their child’s opinions…. use a positive
discipline model where they focus on problem solving and strategies to
reinforce good behavior… sets high expectations, but also values open
communication with their child…. ultimately in charge, they make the effort to
understand and support their kids as well.
Authoritative parents is widely regarded
as the most effective of the different parenting styles. Children … tend to be
more happy and successful … helps kids develop a sense of independence. The
focus on open communication makes kids feel comfortable expressing themselves
and they tend to do better in social situations as a result. These kids are
also more likely to be good at evaluating risks and making decisions.
Permissive parents, while loving and
accepting, make few demands of their children… lenient and may worry about
stopping a child’s creativity by interfering… tend to give kids what they ask
for and they avoid conflict whenever possible. If they do use consequences,
they don’t always stick with them. A child can often get privileges back if
they beg and promise to be good… encourage their kids to talk about issues, but
they rarely put much effort into helping them problem-solve or teaching them
how to make better choices… most hands-off.
Kids with permissive parents are more
likely to struggle academically … flounder in school… exhibit behavior problems
because they don’t understand boundaries or how to follow rules… may come to
feel entitled to privileges and material goods… at a higher risk of health
problems, such as obesity, because permissive parents struggle to limit the
amount of junk food they eat.
Uninvolved parents demand almost
nothing and give almost nothing in return [most dangerous type of parent].
Basically uninvolved parents expect kids to raise themselves … don’t set
expectations, boundaries, or consequences … may spend a lot of time away from
home, leaving kids to fend for themselves … may not … meet their children’s
basic needs. It can verge into neglect territory… may have … substance abuse
problems, mental health issues, lack of education, severe financial stress, etc.
… can create a lifetime of havoc for a child.
These kids have no trust foundation with
their parents which make it difficult for them to form relationships with
others… perform poorly in school, display behavior problems, and rank low in
her article titled “Perspective: Make ‘parent’ a verb again,” Bethany Mandel wrote
of a family in Texas where four children are being reared “without any rules
about food, clothing or appearance” and are “allowed to eat whatever they
choose, shave their heads, wear whatever they want (or don’t want, in the
instance of shoes) and even drink coffee.” Another article about the family
called the type of parenting “free-range parenting.” Mandel called the children
“feral” children. Most of us would put the type of parenting into the area
between “passive parenting” and “uninvolved parenting” style.
Team Beenke article gives some suggestions for how a parent can decide what
kind of parent they are. If you do not know, I suggest that you go to the
article to learn more. Parents should strive to be authoritative parents
because they will strengthen their family and their children will be happier
and more successful. Such families can then add strength to their communities