Is Your Phone a Tool or a Companion?

Families are stronger when individuals use technology as a tool rather than a companion. It is a fact that an individual can become addicted to social media of all types.

In her article published at The Deseret News, Emma Neff stated that there are “serious terms that come from a tech-reliant society.” She wrote, “Textaphrenia and Textiety both refer to the anxiety that coms from constant texting and messaging notifications.” She added, “Nomophobia, short for “no-mobile-phone phobia,” is the fer or anxiety of being without a device…. [which] can lead to excessive phone usage and dependence on the device for social connection, validation and entertainment.” 

One does not need an official nomophobia diagnosis to be glued to one’s phone. According to a recent report from Review.org and quoted by Neff, “85% of people check their phones within 10 minutes of waking up, and 75% would not feel comfortable leaving their homes without it, as previously reported by the Deseret News.”

While phones are vital tools, many users are finding they can no longer function without them, and neither can their families. Parents may find phones and technology to be a source of contention in their homes as they strike a balance with themselves and their kids with their use.

Experts have shared their own tips and tricks that could be helpful for some as they try to enjoy the benefits media and technology brings, without the negative effects.

Rebecca Densley, an assistant professor at Brigham Young University who studies the intersection of media development and family life, told the Deseret News the solution to less technology use, isn’t abstinence.

“We don’t want to take away everything, and have our kids lose the ability to benefit from what media has to offer,” Densley said. “When parents are having regular and open conversations with their kids about media use, there are a lot of positive effects, and it helps to reduce the negative effects.”

Densley noted that while strict rules may work for young children, adolescents require more “buy-in.” Without a collaborative discussion, teens may succumb to the “forbidden fruit effect,” where restricted media becomes more desirable.” …

Experts agree that digital discipline starts with the adult. … parents must model socialization without screens….

To help bridge the gap between work and family, Robbins suggests being transparent. I you must check a work email, tell them when you need to use your phone and how long, then physically put it away.

Passive consumption versus active engagement

The impact of technology often depends on the “how” rather than the “if” or “how much.”

To help break habits and become more intentional with tech use, experts suggest a mix of physical and mental resets.

·         The media fast: Densley and author Josohua Becker recommend a “media fast.” If you return to your phone and immediately slide into old habits, your behavior may be more hardwired and could use a more intentional plan for technology use.

·         The rubber band trick: Becker also suggests putting a rubber band or hair tie around your phone to disrupt the scroll. This physical “speed bump” makes it harder to see the screen, forcing users to be more intentional.

·         Analog alternatives: Rather than letting the phone be a “Swiss Army knife,” experts recommend using alternatives like swapping a digital alarm clock for a physical one, or to use paper planners to keep your phone out of your hands.

·         Digital sunsets: The Mayo Clinic and Brooks both advocate for “the digital sunrise and sunset” rule: no screens for the first hour of the day or the last hour before bed.

Finding ‘awe’ in the real world

While structured rules and resets like digital sunsets protect our time, the next step is what to do with that reclaimed space. Reclaiming time from technology allows for unplugged activities and hobbies like cooking, walking, painting or playing board games. Densley noted research emphasizes the importance of “awe,” the grounding feeling found in nature or music, and how that ‘awe’ moments could replace digital feedback loops….

A 2023 study published in Scientific Reports found that daily experience of awe significantly reduced stress and improved overall well-being.

Densley added, “Those experiences of awe can be really grounding….”

What to do next

The goal, Densley says, is intentionality. These devices are designed to capture and keep attention and fighting that pull takes practice.

By recognizing this and giving grace, Densley shares through treating the phone as a tool rather than a companion, families and individuals can move forward through positive constructive conversations about technology use.