Who Is Joe Tuia’ana?

My VIP for this week is Joe Tuia’ana who had his own mental health crisis when a dear friend died, but he saved another man from jumping off a bridge. Then he organized a support group for that one man. Lois M. Collins reported the incident in her article published at the Deseret News. 

Like many young boys, Joe acted the part of Superman by wearing a Superman pajama shirt and using a towel pinned around his neck as a cape. On January 29, 2022, he became a real-life hero. Even though he was struggling with his mental health, he was trying to be a good single dad to his three daughters. One day he was driving his youngest daughter to play basketball. He noticed a car parked wrong and impeding traffic. He squeezed past the car and glanced in the rearview mirror.

At the bottom, he glanced in the rearview mirror and saw the driver “kind of ninja jump over the protective fence.” The 20-something man was staring down at the highway below. By then, his kids were screaming frantically and Joe thought, “You’ve got to be kidding. I just don’t have any energy to put toward anyone but me, me, me,” he later said, before what he describes as a “come to Jesus moment.”

He went back, telling his oldest daughter … to call the police and [the two younger girls] to chill. Then he began to walk across the bridge.

He wanted to throw up. He was sweating profusely and having a panic attack. Two things were clear to him: He was not a superhero. And half Samoan and half Italian, he knew his size – 6-foot-3, 315 pounds – was intimidating. He was afraid he’d scare the guy.

“Please, please Lord,” Joe prayed, “let this man know he’s loved.” By then, he was close enough to see how sad the man looked and felt tears pouring down his own face….

Not sure what else to do, Joe threw his arms open wide, like a giant bear hug. Yelling over the roar of cars speeding by below, he approached, repeating over and over, “I love you, bro.” When he got close enough, he grabbed the guy and hauled him back over the barrier, where they sank to the pavement, arms around each other, both sobbing and trembling…. Joe just kept whispering in his ear, “I love you, bro.” …

After he’d been treated for the acute phase of his crisis, Aron [the young man] reached out to Joe, who’d given his number to a first responder to give to him. Joe was anxious to help him, but an online search for long-term suicide prevention resources tailored to men didn’t yield much.

So Joe created a support group just for Aron. He contacted a few men he knew, like a buddy from his fantasy football league, and cobbled together a group of six or seven guys willing to show up for a struggling stranger.

Nothing fancy. Not mental health per se. Just guys willing to share their own stories and listen to his. They all found it therapeutic.

The next time they met, a few of the guys had told other guys, so the group was a little larger. And so it went, week after week, until soon it was an actual thing that clearly begged to be formalized. So Joe, with no mental health training, but a big heart and a lot of love for people in crisis, launched the I Love You Bro project. It’s been growing ever since, with now 14 different weekly meetings from Logan to Spanish Fork. By now, more than 3,000 men have participated. Sometimes a handful of guys show up. Sometimes a couple dozen. There’s no formal program, no therapy, just a safe place to talk about what’s been bottled up inside….

Dr. Eric Monson of Huntsman Mental Health Institute says men are less likely than women to recognize their mental health challenges. And much more reluctant to talk about them. Depression can show up as irritability or feeling on edge. Men sometimes dive into work harder or they don’t feel well. They may use drugs or alcohol to numb their feelings. Monson said recklessness and temper flares are among men’s externalizing behaviors, and those can create legal problems.

My point for choosing Joe as my VIP for this week is to show that just average people – an average Joe – can do something to help another person.  In Joe’s case, the group he spear-headed after helping Aron has helped more than 3,000 other men. We never know what we can accomplish until we try.

For more of the article, follow this link.