Sisterhood

                Sisterhood implies a special relationship between women; it is a bond that is thicker than blood and unbreakable.  Sisters take care of each other and help each other no matter the situation.                  Women need women.  Some sisters grow up in the same home, and some mature on different sides of the nation or world.  How we became sisters does not really matter.  The fact that we are sisters is what is important.

                I have always enjoyed a wonderful relationship with all of my sisters.  My older sisters watched over me and helped to care for me.  My younger sisters looked up to me for care and example.  I love being with all my natural sisters.  They help me to become a better person than I would be without them.  They strengthen my memories of past times together.  They love me and care about me.  On a recent trip to Utah, I called one of my sisters and asked if she wanted to have lunch.  She suggested that we call our other sisters who live locally.  Since our sisters by marriage are just as loved as those by birth, we decided to call our brothers also.  Almost all of my siblings in the area and their spouses dropped their plans for the day and met for lunch; those who could not join us had good reasons for not doing so.  The group was not complete, but those of us in attendance truly had a wonderful experience.  My sisters and brothers and their spouses are my dearest friends.

                I moved to Alaska more than forty years ago and thus moved away from my sisters.  When we first came to Alaska, telephone calls were very expensive and few.  My sisters and I exchanged many letters and enjoyed our infrequent times together. 

                I am fortunate to belong to a Church where the girls, young women, and women are considered to be sisters because we are all daughters of a loving Heavenly Father.  I survived many long years away from my natural sisters because I was surrounded by the sisters in my Church.  These “sisters” watched over me and cared for me during illnesses and childbirth and rejoiced with me in my accomplishments.  They are as important in my life as my natural sisters because they have helped me become who I really am.

                I recently had the opportunity to have lunch with a group of sisters and had a delightful visit with them.  We visited about many different topics from employment to pedicures and relished the opportunity to be together.  We live in a different day than our pioneer ancestors who had the opportunity to join together in quilting bees and sewing circles, but we still have the same need to be strengthened by other women.  Women need women.

                I am becoming more and more aware that some women do not understand sisterhood because they have never enjoyed good relationships with their natural sisters and have not had the opportunity to enjoy sisterhood with non-natural sisters.  Women need other women as sisters and friends to validate them as women in different roles.

                Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson, Young Women general president, spoke at a recent women’s conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  The women in attendance included girls ages 8-12, young women (teenage girls), and adult women ages 18 years and up; all are considered to be “sisters.”  “We as women can be particularly hard on ourselves.  When we compare ourselves to one another, we will always feel inadequate or resentful of others.  Sister Patricia T. Holland once said, `The point is, we simply cannot call ourselves Christian and continue to judge one another – or ourselves – so harshly.’  She goes on to say that there is nothing that is worth us losing our compassion and sisterhood over.  We just need to relax and rejoice in our divine differences.  We need to realize that we all desire to serve in the kingdom, using our unique talents and gifts in our own ways.  Then we can enjoy our sisterhood and our associations and begin to serve.

                “The fact of the matter is, we really and truly need each other.  Women naturally seek friendship, support, and companionship.  We have so much to learn from one another, and we often let self-imposed barriers keep us from enjoying associations which could be among the greatest blessings in our lives…. “

                Sister Oscarson quoted Sister Marjorie P. Hinckley as saying, “Oh, how we need each other.  Those of us who are old need you who are young.  And, hopefully, you who are young need some of us who are old.  It is a sociological fact that women need women.  We need deep and satisfying and loyal friendships with each other.”

                Concluding her talk, Sister Oscarson said, “In addition to enjoying all of these magnificent blessings, we have each other – sisters in the gospel of Jesus Christ.  We have been blessed with tender and charitable natures which enable us to render Christlike love and service to those around us.  As we look beyond our differences in age, culture, and circumstance to nurture and serve one another, we will be filled with the pure love of Christ and the inspiration which leads us to know when and whom to serve.

                “I extend to you an invitation that was issued once before by a Relief Society general president who said, `I invite you to not only love each other more but love each other better.  May we realize just how much we need each other, and may we all love one another better….”

                I am grateful for sisters in all walks of life.  I have been blessed to have seven natural sisters who love me; I have also been blessed to have hundreds and thousands, even millions, of other sisters who also love me.  I am very grateful to belong to a worldwide sisterhood of women, a sisterhood that is open to every woman who cares to join.

Worldwide Sisterhood

                    Families are stronger when wives, mothers, grandmothers, and single women are concerned about the conditions in their neighborhoods and communities.  Most of us understand that groups of women have more influence than do individuals acting alone; therefore, it is normally a good experience to organize ourselves into groups.  We must be very careful and choose wisely which women's groups we join because some are in the business of advancing selfish ambition while others are concerned with supporting and strengthening marriages and families.  We want to be sure that we choose organizations that strengthen homes and families. 

One such organization is the Relief Society of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Relief Society is possibly the oldest and largest women's organization in the world, and it is celebrating its 170th birthday this week.  All members of Relief Society are part of a worldwide sisterhood of more than three million women and form bonds with each other that rival the relationships between sisters by birth.  

The mission and purpose of Relief Society is threefold:  1) Increase faith and personal righteousness, 2) Strengthen families and homes, and 3) Seek out and help those in need.  The motto of Relief Society is "Charity Never Faileth."  Relief Society members even have their own song, "As Sisters in Zion."   The words were written as a poem by Emily Hill, while she and her sister traveled West with the Willie and Martin Handcart Company; the poem was found and set to music in 1985.

Women have always needed relationships with other women; they have formed strong bonds with each other and given their best support to homes and families.  The natures of women would have been no different while Jesus Christ was living upon the earth.  Jesus valued the support of the women around Him, such as Mary and Martha, and He taught them in their homes and on the streets, as individuals and in multitudes.  He always showed loving kindness toward women.

                    There is little known about any formal organization for women in New Testament time, but a careful study of the scriptures suggests that women were active and important participants in the Savior's ministry.  There are numerous examples in the New Testament of women who exercised faith in Jesus Christ, listened to His teachings, and testified of his ministry, miracles, and majesty.  They were important witnesses in the work of salvation.

                    "The women in the ancient Church were dignified and noble, needed and valued.  They served others, increased in personal holiness, and participated in the great work of saving souls." 

                    Women continued strengthening homes and families.  While members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, including some of my ancestors, were living in Nauvoo, Illinois, they eagerly worked to build a temple there.  Since the Prophet Joseph Smith encouraged everyone to take an active part in the building project and the men were doing the actual construction work on the temple, the women searched for some way in which they could contribute to the cause.

                    One day when the walls of the temple were about three feet high, Margaret Cook and Sarah M. Kimball were discussing a recent call for "provisions, clothing, bedding and general supplies for the workmen and their families."  Margaret said that she would be "pleased to contribute needlework" if materials could be made available to her.  Sarah offered to provide the materials and suggested that other women might desire to join their effort. 

                    Margaret and Sarah discussed the possibility of organizing a sewing society with the purpose of providing aid to the temple workers, and a few days later about a dozen women met in Sarah's home to discuss such an organization.  [These women were not alone in their desire to organize for a good cause because it was a common practice in that era for women to form their own organizations - complete with constitutions and bylaws.]  The women meeting in Sarah's home decided to establish a constitution and bylaws and assigned Eliza R. Snow to write them.  When Sister Snow finished with her assignment, the women asked the Prophet Joseph Smith to review their proposed constitution and bylaws and then tell the women what he thought about them.

                    The Prophet read them and declared them to be "the best he had ever seen."  He then added, "But this is not what you want. Tell the sisters their offering is accepted of the Lord, and he has something better for them than a written constitution.  I invite them all to meet with me and a few of the brethren … and I will organize the women under the priesthood after the pattern of the priesthood."

                    On March 17, 1842, twenty women met with Joseph Smith and two members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Elders John Taylor and Willard Richards.  On that day in a building referred to as "the red brick store" where Joseph had an office and business, the Prophet organized the women in "a divinely inspired and authorized manner" rather than after the pattern of other women's societies of the day with their own presidency to lead them.

                    In that meeting the Prophet told the women to encourage "the brethren to good works in looking to the wants of the poor - searching after objects of charity, and in administering to their wants - to assist by correcting the morals and strengthening the virtues of the female community."

                    The women discussed what they should call their organization and finally settled on calling themselves the Female Relief Society of Nauvoo.  Their new president, Emma Smith, declared:  "We are going to do something extraordinary….  We expect extraordinary occasions and pressing calls."

                    About six weeks later the Prophet joined the women in a Relief Society meeting to teach them more about their responsibilities.  He said, "This society is to get instruction through the order which God has established - through the medium of those appointed to lead - and I now turn the key to you in the name of God, and this society shall rejoice and knowledge and intelligence shall flow down from this time - this is the beginning of better days to this society."

                    The Female Relief Society of Nauvoo grew quickly.  From the 20 members in attendance on March 17, 1842, when the Relief Society was organized, the society grew to 1,100 members in August 1842.  Membership in Relief Society was not automatic to all female members of the Church.  Women had to "petition" for membership and were "accepted based on their goodness and virtue."  The sisters were simply following the Prophets counsel when he told them, "There should be a select society, separate from all the evils of the world, choice, virtuous, and holy."

                    Many women in Nauvoo were anxious to join the Relief Society and were excited about the opportunity to give spiritual and temporal help in an organized manner.  They loved being unified in their purpose and appreciated the priesthood leadership given by the Prophet.   They recognized that they had received a great blessing and privilege and had the responsibility to live up to it. 

Joseph Smith told the sisters, "You are now placed in a situation where you can act according to those sympathies which God has planted in your bosoms.  If you live up to these principles, how great and glorious."

On June 27, 1844, when the Relief Society was less than two years old, an armed mob with blackened faces advanced on the small jail in Carthage, Illinois, killed the Prophet Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum, and seriously wounded John Taylor.  The martyrdom of Joseph and Hyrum Smith did not stop the persecutions.  Brigham Young, the Church's new leader, eventually told the members of the Church that they would have to leave Nauvoo and find another home where they could live and worship in peace.

The exodus from Nauvoo began in February 1846, and the first pioneers arrived in the Salt Lake Valley on July 24, 1847.  Through all their trials the women continued to live the principles of Relief Society even though they did not have a formal organization until nearly twenty years later.  The Relief Society was reorganized under the leadership of President Brigham Young in early 1867 and continues to this day.  The name of the organization was shortened to simply "Relief Society" and membership eventually opened to all adult female members of the Church.  The Relief Society continues to hold an important place among leadership and membership of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  President Joseph Fielding Smith commented in 1970, "The Relief Society was established by the spirit of inspiration, and has been guided by that spirit [ever since], and has instilled into the hearts of countless of our good sisters those desires for righteousness which have been pleasing to the Lord."

                    I am grateful for my membership in Relief Society.  Being a member of this organization has helped greatly in strengthening my own home and family and those of other sisters.  May this great, worldwide sisterhood continue to bless and strengthen our homes and families.  Happy Birthday, Relief Society!

                    A previous essay on Relief Society can be found here.   Information and quotes are from Daughters in My Kingdom - The History and Work of Relief Society.