Families Are Forever

Families are part of Heavenly Father's plan of salvation. Adam and Eve were married by God while in the Garden of Eden and commanded to have children (see Genesis 1:28). God revealed that providing mortal bodies for His spirit children is one of the purposes for marriage. Men and women are partners with Heavenly Father in creating families. God sends His spirit children to earth to receive mortal bodies and to experience life on earth. Bringing children into the world is the way that parents help Heavenly Father carry out His plan.

Heavenly Father wants each new child to be welcomed into a family with gladness. He wants parents to remember that each child is also a child of God. He wants parents to take time to enjoy their children, to play with them, and to teach them. President David O. McKay, a modern-day prophet of God, said "With all my heart I believe that the best place to prepare for … eternal life is in the home" ("Blueprint for Family Living," Improvement Era, Apr. 1963, 252). It is at home with our families that we can learn self-control, sacrifice, loyalty, and the value of work as well as to learn to love, to share, and to serve one another.

Fathers and mothers are charged with the responsibility to teach their children about Heavenly Father. A good way to teach their children is by the parental example. When children see that mother and father keep God's commandments because they love Him, they come to an understanding of how to show love to God. Parents also have the responsibility to teach their children how to pray.

Because families can be together forever, it is critical that the right steps are taken. When a couple is married in the temple by the authority of the Melchizedek Priesthood, their marriage and family life can continue after death. Marriages performed outside the temples will end when one of the partners dies. By keeping their covenants with God, families will be united eternally as husband, wife, and children.

If husband, wife and children want to be together for all eternally, they must learn to be thoughtful and kind to each other and how to develop greater harmony in their home. They should never say or do anything to hurt each other and try always to make each other happy. As parents learn more about God and become more like Him, they will teach their children to love one another.
King Benjamin in the Book of Mormon taught his people, "Ye will not suffer your children … [to] fight and quarrel one with another….
"But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another" (Mosiah 4:14-15).

I know that family members can help each other to be more confident by sincere encouragement and praise. When parents show interest in each child and show love and concern for each child, then every child should feel important to the family. Children should also show love and kindness to their parents and bring honor to their parents by living good lives.

President Harold B. Lee, another modern-day prophet, said, "The most important of the Lord's work you will ever do will be within the wall of your own homes" (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Harold B. Lee [2001], 134).
Satan understands that families are important to Heavenly Father and in bringing about His plan. Satan wants to destroy individuals and families by keeping them away from God, and he will tempt us to say and do things that will destroy our families.

We must remember that "Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God…. The family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children" ("The Family: A Proclamation to the World, Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102).

The First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught, "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities" (Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102).

Here are some time-tested ways to develop happy, successful families: 1) Kneel together in family prayer every night and morning. Pray together as husband and wife. 2) Hold family home evening every week and teach your children the gospel of Christ. 3) Study the scriptures as a family regularly. 4) Work and play together as a family. 5) Practice being kind, patient, long-suffering, and charitable. 6) Attend Church meetings together regularly. 7) Follow the counsel of God in Doctrine and Covenants 88:119: "organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God." 8) Receive the sealing ordinances of the temple, keep a family history, and perform temple work together regularly.

The family is the basic unit of society and the most important unit in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The Church exists to help families gain eternal blessings and exaltation and has organizations and programs that are designed to strengthen us individually and help us live as families forever.

Marriage

Marriage in the entire United States is on trial in California. The federal trial in San Francisco to determine whether or not Proposition 8 is legal is now in its seventh day. This lawsuit will have an impact on every constitutional amendment on marriage in the nation.

Last fall residents of California voted for a constitutional amendment to make marriage between one man and one woman the only legal marriage in the state. Proponents of Proposition 8 worked long and hard to get their message out to the people, and the people voted in favor of marriage. Prop 8 would have failed without the surge of black voters who went to the polls to elect Obama as President. Now there is a trial taking place to decide if the ban on gay marriage is constitutional. The lawsuit charges that the measure on the 2008 ballot violates United States constitutional guarantees of equal protection and due process. The constitutional ban on gay marriage is expected to eventually reach the United States Supreme Court.

One of the attorneys opposing Prop 8, former Solicitor General Theodore Olson, known for his conservative views, said in his opening remarks that marriage was "one of the most vital personal rights" and a "basic civil right." As I see it, no one is taking away anyone's right to marry. The law simply states that it must be a member of the opposite sex.

Charles Cooper arguing in favor of Prop 8 said that marriage to opposite sex couples has 'prevailed in virtually every society since early history." He said that data from the Netherlands shows that same-sex marriage leads to a decline in marriage, more divorces, and more children being raised outside marriage.

I hope that the Court finds in favor of Prop 8. If it does not, constitutional amendments in support of marriage in Alaska and many other states will also be considered unconstitutional. I prefer to rely on the statement in The Family Proclamation to the World: "We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children."

Why Marriage Is Important

On September 23, 1995, a Proclamation to the World was made concerning marriage and families. The Proclamation begins with: "We the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children…."

 The Proclamation continues: "The First commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife…."

The Proclamation further states: "… By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children…."

This Proclamation states very clearly how Heavenly Father feels about marriage and family. I looked for other evidence for the importance of marriage in building strong families, communities and nations. I found a number of sources that explained clearly why marriage is good for everyone. One source listed a number of "legal and practical ways" that marriage "changes your life." Some of those benefits are as follows: "filing joint income tax forms," "family partnerships," "inheriting a share of your spouse's estate," "receiving an exemption from both estate taxes and gift taxes for all property you give or leave to your spouse," "receiving Social Security, Medicare, and disability benefits for spouses," "receiving veterans and military benefits for spouses," "obtaining insurance benefits through a spouse's employer," "visiting spouse in a hospital intensive care unit," "making medical decisions for your spouse" if needed, and "making burial or other final arrangements." This source lists other legal and practical reasons for marriage.

The New York Times printed some results from a study on marriage . "A body of demographic research presented at the Conference of the Population Association of America today indicates that marriage offers dramatic emotional, financial and even health benefits over the single life and cohabitation." According to Linda Waite, the association's president, commitment increases with marriage, and this "enhanced commitment" "increases all levels of the support that individuals bring to their relationship and lives." Waite argued that "the married enjoy better health, more money, and more satisfying sex."

In an article written by Rebecca Dalmas entitled "Why Marriage?" the author wrote: "Yet while marriage is a social state and lifestyle, and it is based on a philosophy of well being, it is also based on innate biological forces." The author states, "Like any law, the institution of marriage does two things: it provides consequences and it teaches. Marriage, as strange as it sounds, makes divorce possible; or in other words, marriage improves the enforcement of parental rights and responsibilities when a couple parts. Secondly, but just as essentially, it teaches the importance of commitment before sex…." "…Most importantly, marriage helps us manage our drives and their consequences toward the best possible outcome."

Another source explained why a "healthy marriage is not just a luxury item, its something we should strive for and expect. Marriage researchers have determined that having a healthy, happy, fulfilling marriage benefits all family members." This source listed marriage statistics from research by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the Healthy Marriage Institute. These statistics all compare families when the parents have healthy marriages to those with unhealthy ones. In families when parents have healthy marriages, all family members are "healthier" both physically and emotionally. These families tend to be "wealthier" and to enjoy "better relationships" between spouses as well as between parents and children. Members of families when parents have healthy marriages are "less likely" to attempt or commit suicide, abuse drugs and alcohol, contract STD's, commit violent crimes, or live in poverty. Men in healthy marriage "live longer," have more "stability in employment", make "higher wages," and have a "more satisfying sexual relationship." Women in healthy marriages have a "more satisfying relationship." They are "less likely to be victims of domestic violence, sexual assault or other violent crimes." Children and youth raised by parents in healthy marriages are "more likely to succeed academically" and "attend college." They are "less likely" to "commit delinquent behaviors," "be a victim of physical or sexual abuse," "be sexually active as teenagers," or "become pregnant as a teenager or impregnate someone." They have decreased "chances of divorcing when they get married." They are more likely to "be open and honest" and to "seek wisdom and understanding from God." Communities with a "higher percentage of couples in healthy marriages" also benefit. They have "higher rates" of "physically" and "emotionally healthy citizens." They have "higher rates of educated citizens" and "home ownership" as well as "higher property values." They have "lower rates" for "domestic violence," "crime statistics," "teenage pregnancy," "juvenile delinquency," and "migrations" and "decreased need for social services."

 I believe that God knew about all the benefits that come from marriage. I believe that He ordained marriage because He wanted all of His children to have the benefits of it. I also believe that we can strengthen the communities we live in and our nation by building strong, healthy, happy families.