Setting Goals

                Families, communities, and nations are strengthened when the rising generation knows how to set and meet goals.  Parents need to know the importance of goals and how to set them.  Children and teens should understand how setting and meeting goals can bring success into their lives and feel comfortable doing it.   Even toddlers can be taught how to set and meet goals. 

                Most people think of setting goals at the end of the year, but I believe anytime is a good time to improve ourselves.  I believe that having goals gives us a reason to get up in the morning and a reason to keep going when life is not easy.  I know it is important to be careful about the goals we set – not too many but not too few, not too difficult but not too easy.

                I have been thinking about this post for several days and finally decided to write down some of my thoughts.  I wondered about the proper age to start teaching goal setting and realized it could start very early.  When a child is ready to potty train, a parent could discuss the goal with their child, explaining what needed to be done and setting a date for accomplishment.  An older child could set an overall goal to keep their room clean or to improve their grades at school and accomplish it by breaking the task down into smaller, reachable goals.

                I recently learned again about SMART goals.  SMART is an acronym for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound.  A goal “to be a better student” is a wonderful goal to strive for, but when is it met and what are the steps for doing so?  A SMART goal would take just a part of that goal, such as I will complete my homework before dinner each evening.  Is this goal specific?  Yes.  Is it measurable?  Yes.  Is it attainable?  Yes – at least most of the time.  Is it relevant?  Yes.  Is it time-bound?  Yes.

                So, how does one go about teaching SMART goals to toddlers and little children?  How does one teach a youngster what Specific means?  A friend suggested that a parent select a group of toys, such as My Little Ponies, and then have the child choose their favorite pony out of the group.  That would be a Specific pony.  Another Specific goal could be when a child no longer needs diapers.   How does one teach Measurable to a toddler?  Using the potty training example, a sticker chart works great.  Attainable and relevant might be a little tricky to teach a toddler, but the parent should definitely know that a potty-trained child is both attainable and relevant!  Is the goal time-bound?  When will the child be trained?  The sticker chart can be used to show the target date.

                I found many sites on the Internet to assist parents and teachers in teaching children to set SMART goals.  I like this particular site because it shows how to teach character traits.  I like this site because it has many delightful examples of charts to teach and train children.

                “It’s not easy to write SMART goals.  This skill takes time to develop, and it’s especially important to have in place for students at the secondary level.  A goal is an outcome, something that will make a difference as a result of achieving it.  It can’t be too ambitious to be out of reach, but also not so simple that it does not challenge.  A goal has to be realistic with a stretch, requiring effort and focus to achieve it.  That’s why goals need time frames and measurable action steps along the way so that we can keep track of progress and make adjustments as necessary.”

                I believe it is a parent’s responsibility to teach their children the importance of goals and how to set SMART goals.  I also believe that most goal-oriented children and teens are happy ones, especially if their goals are attainable and relevant in their lives.  I know we can strengthen our families, communities, and nations by teaching the rising generation how to set and meet SMART goals.

Road Map for Life

                Families, communities, and nations can be strengthened when parents teach their children to set worthy goals.  By helping their children set goals for themselves, they are encouraging their children to reach a little higher and become a little better.  Without goals, people remain as they currently are or drift steadily downward.\

                Traveling through life without setting goals is like making a road trip without using a map.  We could waste a lot of time going up and down different roads to see if any of them lead to the desired destination.  The same is true with goals:  we could waste a lot of time in life without setting goals and possibly never reach where we really want to be.  On the other hand, by using a road map and/or setting goals, we can reach our destination. 

                Bishop John H. Vandenberg explained goals in a very plain manner by saying “if you don’t know where you are going, it doesn’t matter which road you take” (Improvement Era, June 1966, 533 or Conference Report, April 1966, 92).

                “Every successful vacation  is largely the result of goals.  For example, after we decide where we are going, we select goals to help us know where we are now, where we are going, and how we are going to get from where we are to where we want to be.  Goals give purpose and direction to our actions.  They help us improve our lives and achieve heights we did not think possible.”

                What is a goal?  A goal could be a standard one wishes to attain or a destiny one desires to reach.  A goal could be a skill or an ideal.  A goal is something we wish to accomplish.  Some goals are short term while other goals are long term.  Some goals are even eternal goals.  A properly set goal needs to be clearly defined in writing with a time frame for accomplishing it.

                Even God sets goals.  When God spoke to Moses face to face, He explained His most important goal:  “For behold, this is my work and my glory – to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Pearl of Great Price, Moses 1:39).  

                If setting goals is important to God, who can doubt that we should also set goals?  This knowledge does not come to children unless it is given to them.  Parents who desire to teach their children to set goals may want to use this family home evening plan.   The plan gives ideas on how to teach a lesson on setting goals and lists some suggestions for goals for different ages.  By helping their children learn to set and reach worthy goals, parents can strengthen their families, communities, and nations.

Setting Goals

                We are once again at the end of an old year and the beginning of a new year – a perfect time to set goals and begin anew. Like many other people, I use the New Year to make resolutions or to set goals.  I like to use the word "goals" rather than "resolutions" because it means more to me.  When we make goals, we plan our lives and make decisions about what we want to accomplish by a certain date.  Many people wander through life without knowing where they are going - much less having any idea of how to get there.  These people may work very hard but not get any where because they are not working towards any specific goals.

                A goal is much like a road map or GPS.  Would you consider leaving your home on a journey into the unknown without knowing where you want to go or how to get there?  Going through life without setting goals is like driving in unknown areas without a GPS.  A road map or GPS can show us where we are and how we can get where we want to be.  Goals do the same thing. 

When we take the time to think about what we are doing at the present time and what we want to be doing in the future, we began to take control of our lives.  I wrote about setting goals and eternal goals last year.  Many of the following ideas about setting and achieving goals in general came from this site.  

                Goals help us to reach our desired destination.  They motivate us in the present time and give us a vision toward which we can work.  They keep us moving and make our vision a reality.  Goals help us to concentrate our efforts and help us organize our time and resources for our best good.  We can measure our progress with clearly defined goals and recognize our ability to achieve what we want.  Setting goals applies to every area of our lives - career, financial, education, family, talents, sports, public service, etc.

                Here are some simple rules for setting goals:  1) See the "big picture."  Decide where and what we want to be at a given time.  2) Break the big goals into medium goals and the medium goals into smaller goals.  Where do you want to be at the end of your life, at retirement, ten years from now, five years from now, one year from now, six months from now, one month from now, this week, or the end of today?  3) Work toward reaching the small goals and you will be moving towards the medium and larger goals also.  Plan your work and then work your plan.  4) Make SMART goals:  S (specific or significant) M (measurable or meaningful) A (attainable) R (relevant) T (trackable).  5) Review your plans and make needed adjustments.

                Tips for setting goals are:  “1) State each goal as a positive statement:  Express your goals positively.  "Execute this technique well" is a much better goal than "Don't make this stupid mistake."  2) Be precise:  Set precise goals, putting in dates, times and amounts so that you can measure achievement.  If you do this, you'll know exactly when you have achieved the goal, and you can take complete satisfaction from having achieved it.  3) Set priorities:  When you have several goals, give each a priority.  This helps you to avoid feeling overwhelmed by having too many goals, and helps to direct your attention to the most important ones.  4) Write goals down:  This crystallizes them and gives them more force.  5) Keep operational goals small:  Keep the low-level goals that you're working towards small and achievable.  If a goal is too large, then it can seem that you are not making progress towards it.  Keeping goals small and incremental gives more opportunities for reward.  6) Set performance goals, not outcome goals:  You should take care to set goals over which you have as much control as possible.  It can be quite dispiriting to fail to achieve a personal goal for reasons beyond your control!  … If you base your goals on personal performance, then you can keep control over the achievement of your goals, and draw satisfaction from them.  7) Set realistic goals:  It's important to set goals that you can achieve.”

                Tips for achieving goals are:  “1) When you've achieved a goal, take the time to enjoy the satisfaction of having done so….  2)  If the goal was a significant one, reward yourself appropriately and build the self-confidence you deserve.  3) Having achieved this goal, review the rest of your goals:  If you achieved the goal too easily, make your next goal harder.  If the goal took a dispiriting length of time to achieve, make the next goal a little easier.  If you learned something that would lead you to change other goals, do so.  If you noticed a deficit in your skills despite achieving the goal, decide whether to set goals to fix this.  Feed lessons learned back into your goal setting.  Remember that goals will change as time goes on.  Adjust them regularly to reflect growth in your knowledge and experience.  Have the courage to let them go if they are no longer attractive to you.”

                The most important goal we can set is for where we want to spend eternity.  Everyone who wants to achieve exaltation or eternal life in the highest degree of the celestial kingdom must achieve the following:  1) Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; 2) Repentance; 3) Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; 4) Receive the gift of the Holy Ghost; 5) Marriage in the temple for eternity; 6) Keep the commandments; 7) Endure to the end of mortal life.

                Some of these requirements are usually needed only once.  Most people need to be baptized, receive the gift of the Holy Ghost, and be married in the temple for eternity only one time.  Once we have accomplished these three goals, we can keep them bright and shiny by working on the other four goals:  faith in Jesus Christ, repentance, keeping the commandments, and enduring to the end of our lives.

                We can keep our faith in Jesus Christ strong and growing by exercising it regularly:  praying daily, studying the scriptures daily, attending our church meetings weekly, worthily maintaining a current temple recommend, and attending the temple regularly (weekly or monthly if possible).

                We use the principle of repentance to keep our lives clean and worthy of entering God's presence.  We do this by repenting daily to keep our mistakes and sins small and by knowing when the Holy Ghost is with us.

                We must strive to keep every commandment.  We can reach a state of perfection in keeping some of the commandments – such as paying tithing and being morally clean – but we will not reach perfection in all of them in this life.  In order to keep the commandments, we must set goals for each of them.  For example, in order to pay our tithes and offerings honestly, we can set the goal of paying our tithing first - before spending any income, paying a generous fast offering, and attending tithing settlement.

                The last requirement for exaltation is to endure to the end and to do it well.  We must keep the faith and not give up because the goal is difficult.  We must turn a deaf ear to the whisperings of Satan and not let him convince us that eternal life is not attainable for us.

                I know that exaltation is attainable for each of Heavenly Father's children because God's job is to bring each of His children back into His presence.  God told Moses, "For behold, this is my work and my glory - to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Pearl of Great Price, Moses 1:39).

This scripture names two parts to God's work - to bring to pass immortality and to bring to pass eternal life.  The words immortality and eternal life do not refer to the same thing.  Immortality is a state of being resurrected, of being free from physical death.  This blessing will come to all people.  Eternal life is living with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in the celestial kingdom and being like Them.  This blessing - which is also called exaltation - comes only to those who keep the commandments and make the necessary covenants.

I know that we all have the potential to reach exaltation because Jesus Christ made it possible through His atoning sacrifice.  I also know that the best way to reach exaltation is to set it as a goal and then work towards reaching it.  I encourage you to join me in working towards the goal of exaltation and eternal life with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

Setting Goals

                    Families are more effective when they set goals both as families and as individuals and work towards them.  Each family has many demands on its members, their time and their resources.  It is important that families know what they really want to accomplish and work together towards those goals.

                    As I thought about what to write about setting goals, a hymn I learned as a little girl kept coming into my mind.  It is entitled "Today, While the Sun Shines" and was written by L. Clark (ca. 1880, alt.) (Hymns, 229).  There are so many good goals in this hymn - at so many different levels.

                    Today, while the sun shines, work with a will;

                    Today all your duties with patience fulfill.

                    Today, while the birds sing, harbor no care;

                    Call life a good gift; call the world fair.

                    Today seek the treasure better than gold,

                    The peace and the joy that are found in the fold.

                    Today seek the gems that shine in the heart;

                    While here we labor, choose the better part.

                    Today seek for goodness, virtue, and truth,

                    As crown of your life and the grace of your youth.

                    Today, while the heart beats, live to be true,

                    Constant and faithful all the way through.

                    Today, today, work with a will;

                    Today, today, your duties fulfill.

                    Today, today, work while you may;

                    Prepare for tomorrow by working today.

                    I have labored for many years trying to learn how to set better goals and be more productive.  I am still striving to be better organized and productive.  I have tried many different methods, but I didn't find any of them that worked well for me.  I learned to take something from each method and develop my own method.  I tried writing lists and became discouraged when I couldn't complete everything I put on my list.  I tried prioritizing my lists and at least completed what I considered to be the most important. 

                    I remember well an object lesson from a meeting many years ago.  The teacher had a canning jar, some stones, some gravel, and some sand.  She tried several different ways to put all the items into the jar, but she was able to fit them all into the jar only by putting the stones in first, then the gravel, and then the sand.  With the stones in place first, the gravel and then the sand filters between and around the stones, filling every little spot.  The object of the lesson was about putting proper priority on the people and things that demand our time, our efforts, and our money.  The most important goals need to have top priority with the less important goals filling in around them.

                    I was an adult when I heard President Ezra Taft Benson (1899-1994) say, "When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives.  Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities."  (See "The Great Commandment - Love the Lord," Ensign, May 1988, 4.)

                    I learned by personal experience that this statement is true.  When I center my life in Jesus Christ, the most important things are taken care of even if tasks of lesser priority do not get done.  I learned to plan my life a week at a time with the Sabbath being planned first.  The fourth commandment reads:

Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. 

Six days shalt thou labor and do all thy work: 

But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God:  in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy       daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates:

For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: 

Wherefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day, and hallowed it.  (See Genesis 20:8-11.)

I schedule my laundry, cleaning, shopping, recreation, movies, etc. on days other than the Sabbath Day.  On the Sabbath

Day I attend  the regular meetings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Stake Conference, or General Conference.  I spend time outside of Church meetings with my family - personally, using technology, or writing letters to them.  I also prepare the lesson I will present the next week or do other tasks that help me to remember the purpose of the day.

                    The next important event I schedule is my temple attendance.  I learned long ago that I need to schedule a definite time to attend the temple each week or I simply cannot work it into my week.  I currently spend Friday morning in the temple unless I need to change my temple day for some important reason such as being out of town.

                    I learned many years ago why Monday is considered "wash day."  I learned that when I do laundry on Monday I have plenty of time to get clothes ironed, mended, etc. before they are needed for the next Sunday.  Besides, by having a regular laundry day, the family is also aware of when they can expect the laundry to be done.  I also like to schedule my weekly cleaning on Monday because I feel more prepared for the week when my home is presentable.

                    As noted above, I have tried many different methods of organization.  My latest attempt at being organized is done on a sheet of paper divided into eight blocks, one block for the tasks of each day and the eighth block for the projects I want to accomplish during that week.  I list the chores, appointments, etc. for each day.  If I cannot complete the daily list, I move the tasks to the next day or a day later in the week.  I learned that I need to schedule the special projects on a particular day rather than simply keeping them in a list of their own.

                    I use the calendar app on my telephone to remind me of appointments and an engagement calendar to plan vacations or projects that are long-term or involve other people.  My single sheet of paper is where I bring everything together for a particular week and a particular day.

                    Families that plan together find it easier to be in the know about what is happening with other members of the family.  Family home evening is an excellent time for families to discuss their schedules and to finalize plans for the coming week.  Effective families determine where and what they want to be and work together to meet those goals.