Does Sex Equal Love?

Hollywood stars and movies have long portrayed sex as a big part of life. Yet, one of the stars is telling a different story and pushing back on the obsession that our culture has with sex. Katrina Trinko shared the following story.

Describing her surprise as being referred to as a woman who “hates sex,” Barrymore recounts how she recently had said that an actor’s six-month period of sexual abstinence was not that long. (Presumably, Barrymore is referring to Andrew Garfield, who in a podcast interview with Marc Maron revealed that he went on a sex fast while playing the role of a Catholic priest in the 2016 film “Silence.”)  

“I’m sure that there was one point in my life where six months might have seemed extreme, but I’m on the other side of that now,” writes the actress, who now hosts a talk show on CBS. “At nearly 48 I have very different feelings about intimacy than I did growing up.” 

Barrymore describes her younger self as “looking for companionship! validation! excitement! pleasure! hedonism! fun! And adventures!!”  

It’s no wonder Barrymore, a child actress and a Hollywood scion who grew up in the spotlight, thought that. 

After all, that’s the message Hollywood and our broader culture sends about sex: It’s a way to have fun and fulfillment. From steamy scenes on HBO shows to the Kardashians, Hollywood relentlessly emphasizes the importance of regular sex. 

Presumably only joyless prudes who want to catapult us back to the Puritan era of slapping scarlet A’s on Hester Prynnes sound warnings about wanton sex, or even have any caveats about falling into bed with virtual strangers.  

According to Trinko, Barrymore is suggesting that people can live fulfilling lives without sex. Barrymore shared a line given by her therapist: “Sex is not love! It is the expression of love.” Barrymore said that she had “searched” for her entire life to hear words that defined the difference between sex and love. Barrymore wrote about her mourning after her divorce and the breaking up of her nuclear family. 

I needed to stay very celibate and honoring and in some sort of state of mourning of the loss of a nuclear family that I swore I would have for my daughters and to find grace and acceptance and what our new normal of a blended family would be. It took time. I’m proud of myself that I took that time.

 

Barrymore may be open to a romantic relationship at some time in the future, but for now she is acknowledging that she can live a happy life without sex. A happy life comes from “loving and being loved,” and sometimes love includes sex. However, sex is not love.

Why Do You Vote as You Do?

            What is your main reason for voting for President of the United States? To some people, the most important factor is the color of the nominee’s skin. To other people, it is their sex. To others it is because there is a “D” or “R” in front of their names. The most important reason that I voted for Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election is the appointment of judges.

I felt certain that Hillary Clinton would appoint judges like those appointed by Barack Obama, and I did not want any more of the liberal/progressive judges trying to legislate from the bench. I knew that I was taking a chance with Trump, but it was the simple matter of weighing the known against the unknown. I thought that my chances would be better with Trump.

During the 2016 campaign Republicans and conservatives did not have any idea whether Trump would appoint liberal or conservative judges because he had no track record to consider. He tried to convince people that he would appoint constitutionalist judges, but no one believed him. When he made a list of the people that he would choose, people believed him.

Three years later Trump has appointed, and the Senate has confirmed 157 judges. By the end of this week, it will most likely be 161. The total should reach 182 confirmed judges in the next two months. Trump scored big when he appointed two Supreme Court justices – Neil Gorsuch and Bret Kavanaugh, but his bigger impact in on the U.S. Court of Appeals. There are 43 confirmations to the appeals court across the 13 circuits. This is the most judges appointed by any president, and Trump also has the fewest court vacancies.

Trump promised to appoint originalist and constitutionalist judges, and he has fulfilled that promise. The names for possible future judges are suggested by conservative groups. Despite constant resistance from Democrats, Trump has succeeded in remaking the court system.

Trump has been aided in his achievement by Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky). McConnell was successful in blocking Obama’s nomination of Merrick Garland to fill seat of the late Justice Antonin Scalia. He has guided the President’s nominees through the Senate. The goal is to appoint judges who make decisions based on law instead of political agenda. As far as I am concerned, Trump has fulfilled my requirements for appointments of the kind of judges that will judge fairly and according to the law.