Stay-at-Home Mothers

               Families, communities, and nations are strengthened when mothers invest their time with their children. Are you a stay-at-home mother? Are you happy with your choice? If you are a happy stay-at-home mother, you are among the majority.

                Redbook Magazine surveyed 558 stay-at-home mothers and “asked several questions about their lives and responsibilities.” The magazine also requested an “hour by hour” record of their activities for the previous day. The records showed “incredibly diverse” lives and revealed “surprising truths about modern families.”

                “Stay-at-home moms’ happiness factor was another counterintuitive finding. In general, this was a very content group of 558 survey respondents, with one standout: Moms of four or more showed an outsized proclivity to be `very’ or `extremely’ happy. This was true despite the constant activity four or more children create and these families’ lower-than-average incomes.”

                I know a lot of stay-at-home mothers of four or more children. I am the mother of six and the grandmother of seventeen. I know that stay-at-home mothers rarely stay at home all day because they are enriching the lives of the members of their families. Their children have the opportunity to visit the library, go to movies, take hikes, see their mothers volunteering in their schools, go swimming in the lake, and many other activities. Children of mothers who stay at home are very blessed.

                LDS Living summarized the study and ended with this statement: “So, when all is said and done and the research is examined, we should ask ourselves, just as Neal A. Maxwell did, `When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses?’"

                The value of having a mother who chooses to invest her time and energy in her children is rarely seen at the moment of the sacrifice. It is seen in the lives of those children when they become parents. I am very pleased to know that all of my daughters, by blood and by marriage, are stay-at-home mothers. Most of them have four children and are very busy. All of them have college degrees, and most of them have graduate degrees. I have one daughter who has no children – not of her choice. She is a successful, well-known business executive who believes that a day-at-home mother has the best career possible. I am happy in my choice of a career and know that my daughters are happy in their choice to be at home with their children. I hope you are happy in your choice to be home with your children because you can strengthen your family, your community, and your nation by investing your time with your children.

Stay-At-Home Mothers

                Families, communities, and nations are strengthened when members of our society truly understand the importance of motherhood and the opportunity to spend their time and energy with their children.  Mothers should spend their best energy and time with their children. 

                This blog is in support of stay-at-home mothers but in no way finds fault with mothers who have careers outside their homes.  I am sure you are doing the best you can in your circumstances, and I find you amazing in what you are able to accomplish!

                In the “olden days” fathers left their homes to earn money in support of their families while mothers remained at home to nurture their children.  Men got university training while women were more unlikely to do so.  As more and more women went to college, more of them chose to go into the work force, maybe to justify or even to pay the expenses of their education. 

                While I was a mother of young children, most mothers were still at home with the children while their husbands provided for their families.  Now my daughters are staying at home with their children while their husbands provide the family income.   They may or not be among the majority of young parents. 

                I am particularly amazed at the women I know – both women my own age and younger women - who have given up or postponed careers in order to be at home and share their knowledge, time and energy with their own children and those of others.  One friend used her education as an English major to bless the lives of children, teenagers and young adults in both reading and writing.   Nurses I know donate weeks of their summer time at young women camps.  My daughter has a friend who is a medical doctor and chose to stay home with her children; she shares her medical knowledge with other young mothers in her ward and neighborhood.  I know teachers who give their best time and effort to teaching in church organizations.

                Among my six daughters there are five with Masters Degrees and one with a five-year degree as a registered nurse; their husbands are just as well educated and supporting their families.  Besides the nurse, there is a business executive, physical therapist, special education/physical education teacher, counselor in social work, and an art historian with the physical therapist working toward a doctorate degree.  The business executive is the only one without children; the other five have put their careers on hold until their children are reared.  They are blessing the lives of many other people!  I know many – at least hundreds, maybe thousands - well-educated women who left their careers to stay at home with their children.  They are blessings in the lives of their own children as well as other women and children!

                About forty years ago I read a story that I believe was in a book entitled The Art of Homemaking written by Daryl Hoole or one of her other books.  I recently found the same or a similar story on the Internet at this site.  The story is about a stay-at-home mother who was asked about her career.  She was a “mother” and not just a “homemaker,” but she recognized that most places would not accept “mother” as a job title.  Out of the genius of her mind she came up with this “job title” and “job description.”  I thought it was good the first time I read it and continue to think so.

                The woman found herself at Town Hall being interrogated by a “poised and efficient” career woman.  When the clerk asked for her “occupation,” the young mother found herself replying, “I am a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.”  This reply caused the clerk to look at her with more respect as she put the title in the required space.

                The clerk was interested in what the job involved, and the young mother replied, “I have a continuing program of research [mothering her children], in the laboratory and in the field [indoors and out].

                “I’m working for my Masters [her family], and already have four credits [all daughters].  Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities… .”

                The clerk was showing more and more respect.  The young mother had increased her self-esteem and was perfectly honest.  She drove home and greeted her three “lab assistants” (ages 13, 7 and 3 years) and heard the latest “model” in her child-development program (a 6-months-old baby) upstairs vocalizing.  She made a great achievement by going on public record as something more than “just a mother.”

                The author of this Internet article suggested that grandmothers should be called “Senior Research Associates” and great-grandmothers should be called “Executive Senior Research Associates” in the field of Child Development and Human Developments.

                I have heard/read of other women who gave themselves other titles such as “Domestic Engineer” and “Family Organizer.”  Whatever title a woman chooses, the most important title any woman can have is “Mother” – whether or not she has children of her own or becomes a mother to other people.  One of the greatest women in our time went by the simple name as Mother Teresa.  She spent her time, energy and means to serve the poor in her native country and earned the respect of the entire world.

                Women who choose to put their children ahead of everything and everyone – except God and their husband – bring blessings into their own lives and the lives of many other people.  Where and when the role of mother is respected and the career of motherhood receives priority, families, communities, and nations are strengthened.