Give Thanks in All Things

                Thanksgiving Day is here once again, and our nation pauses to observe the day.  Thanksgiving means different things to different people.  For some, it is a day for feasting.  For others, it is a day for football.  For others, it is a day for family and friends to gather.  For all of us, it should be a day for giving thanks for our many blessings.

                The scriptures give many examples of people giving thanks.  When Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden, one of the first things they did was to build an altar and give thanks to the Lord.  When the Jaredites spent nearly a year in closed barges traveling to the Promised Land, one of the first things they did was to give thanks. 

                The Book of Mormon  - Another Testament of Jesus Christ teaches the importance of giving thanks in many areas.  During the days of King Mosiah the people who believed in God were persecuted by those who did not believe, and they were “suffering all manner of afflictions.”  In these dire circumstances, the Lord commanded them to “pray without ceasing, and to give thanks in all things” (Mosiah 26:38-39).

                This is not the only instance when the God commanded His children to give thanks for there are many instances in the scriptures

[1 Thessalonians 5:18; Alma 37:37; Doctrine and Covenants 78:19 are just a few of the references.]

                No matter what is happening in our lives, we have much to be thankful for.  All of us have air to breathe and most of us have water to drink.  We have pure air and clean water, we are truly blessed.  We all have this beautiful world for our earthly home.  We also have our knowledge of our Savior Jesus Christ and the plan of salvation with its  commandments and ordinances.  We have the centerpiece of the plan of salvation, which is the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  Through His atoning sacrifice, our Savior made it possible for all of us to return to the presence of our loving Heavenly Father.

                Each November I see many posts on Facebook from friends and family members identifying some of their blessings and giving thanks for them.  This is one way to give thanks, but does it show true gratitude?  I remember when my youngest daughter was a young child and the lesson she taught me about being grateful.  We went to the store to purpose groceries, and she found something that she wanted.  I gave in and bought it for her.  I cannot remember what the item was, but I hope I always remember the gratitude she showed for the small item.  She told me thank you several times on the day of the purchase, but she came back the next day and thanked me again.  Then the next day, she thanked me again. 

                I think this is how our Heavenly Father desires us to show our gratitude.  We should not say a simple thank you when we receive the blessing, but we should go back numerous times to express our gratitude again.  Of course, we should also show our gratitude in our behavior.

                A number of years ago while out hunting with my husband, I had the responsibility of moving the truck from Point A to Point B.  I made a wrong turn and had to turn the large vehicle around on a dirt road high above a reservoir.  I was very frightened but completed the task successfully; however, every time I think of the experience, I express gratitude once again for the blessing of safety I received.

                A couple of nights ago while chopping vegetables, I chopped my thumb.  The cut was not very large or very deep – but it could have been much worse.  I immediately thanked God for blessing me for not chopping off my thumb.  I have returned numerous times over the past couple of days to express my gratitude once again.

                We live in a world where people believe they are entitled to have whatever they desire.  It does not seem to matter to them who owns the item or how they get it.  They believe they deserve it – for whatever reason.  How refreshing it is to see people who are truly grateful for whatever they receive.

                Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke about being giving thanks in all things.  He shared severe examples from the pioneers and then said, “Like the pioneers, we should thank God for our adversities and pray for guidance in meeting them.  Through that attitude and through our faith and obedience, we will realize the promises God has given us.  It is all part of the plan.

                “… Let us give thanks for what we are and for the circumstances God has given us for our personal journey through mortality….

                “When we give thanks in all things, we see hardships and adversities in the context of the purpose of life.  We are sent here to be tested.  There must be opposition in all things.  We are meant to learn and grow through that opposition, through meeting our challenges, and through teaching others to do the same….

                “… I rejoice in the Lord’s plan, in which the adversity of the deaths of many righteous individuals [during war] is turned into the blessing of righteous messengers to preach the gospel to their countless comrades-in-arms.

                “When we understand this principle, that God offers us opportunities for blessings and blesses us through our own adversities and the adversities of others, we can understand why He has commanded us again and again to `thank the Lord they God in all things’ (Doctrine and Covenants 59:7.)….”

Teach Gratitude

                    Families grow stronger when parents teach their children to be grateful for what they receive - whether it is little or much.  Parents can be instrumental in determining the attitudes of children toward material goods as well as services received.  Parents can lovingly assist their children to move from a "gimme" attitude to a grateful attitude.

                    Gratitude has been described as "an uplifting, exalting attitude.  You can probably say from experience that you are happier when you have gratitude in your heart.  You cannot be bitter, resentful, or mean-spirited when you are grateful."  (See True to the Faith, pp 78-79.)

Ingratitude was part of the foundation of the Occupy Wall Street movement.  Rich college students were not satisfied with what they had been given by their parents, and they thought the banks, government, or society should give them more.  One of their demands was for their thousands of dollars worth of student loans to be forgiven.  When they left their occupied parks and other places, they left messes for "someone else" to clean up.  They are selfish, self-centered people who will keep demanding more.  People who feel entitled to more and more simply cannot be satisfied with any amount.

                    When I was a newlywed, I worked at an Air Force base while my husband was finishing his engineering degree.  We lived in a small basement apartment in the home of one of the men in my office.  The family included four young children and belonged to our church.  Late on Christmas Eve, our landlady knocked on our door and asked us if we wanted to come up to see their Christmas before the children opened everything the next morning.  When my husband and I went upstairs, I was shocked at the amount of presents in the living room.  I saw in that room more Christmas gifts than I have ever seen in a home in my entire life!  In addition to the piles of wrapped gifts surrounding the tree, there were four different places on chairs/sofas where the mother had lovingly laid out numerous outfits for each child.  All I could think was "WOW!"  When I later asked the landlady about her Christmas, she indicated that there was unhappiness because some desired items were not there.

                    On my first day back at work after Christmas, the members of my carpool were discussing Christmas.  We all had wonderful Christmas experiences except one lady.  She named all the items that she had purchased and prepared for her teenage daughter.  I don't remember all that she listed, but I do remember that she named a complete ski outfit (skis, boots, poles, jacket, pants, sweater, hat, gloves, etc), many other clothing items, and several jewelry items including a watch.  In spite of all the gifts, the teenager was not happy because she didn't get something that she really wanted; because she was unhappy, she made her entire family miserable.

                    I remembered these two experiences when I had children of my own and determined that I was not going to turn my children into spoiled brats.  I wanted Christmas to be more of a spiritual experience than a material one so I emphasized Christ, His birth and His mission to earth.  I did not use Christmas as a time to fill all the needs for the year but provided items throughout the year as they were needed - soccer balls in the summer, hockey skates in the winter, school clothes in the fall, vacation clothes in the summer, etc.  I intentionally limited the gifts at Christmas to three basic items plus stocking stuffers:  a book, an item of clothing, and a toy or item appropriate for their ages.  I tried to make these gifts as special as I could.  One year I made Raggedy Ann type dolls for my two daughters, individualized to look like their owners.  Another year I made each child their favorite Care Bear. 

We limited gifts in other ways also.  Instead of having each child give gifts to all their siblings, I had them draw names, and each child became responsible to choose a gift for one sibling.  In addition to saving family funds (6 gifts compared to 36 gifts), this procedure also cut down on the amount of time needed to open gifts as well as the number of toys left lying around the house.  As the children grew older, they became aware that "Santa emptied his sleigh" at some houses but not at ours, but I didn't let other families' choices influence what we did.

To make Christmas morning even more meaningful, we each opened one gift at a time beginning with the youngest person in attendance and moving to the eldest.  This procedure was followed last year when 24 of us were together for Christmas.  By putting the limelight on one person at a time, we all had the opportunity to see the gifts given to each person, and we all received everyone's attention when it was our turn.  Knowing that some individual families could afford more expensive gifts than other families, we asked that all families limit the number of gifts they brought for their children, opening any other gifts in the privacy of their own homes.

Each family will have their own traditions and ways of doing things.  The important principle to remember is that children need to be taught to be grateful.  Gratitude is not an attribute that comes naturally; it must be taught and modeled.  Parents can best teach gratitude to their children in the home through family activities and traditions.  Parents will strengthen their families when they help their children to develop attitudes of gratitude.