Death has been hitting close to
my home over the past year. Between September 2017 and May 2018 four members of
my extended family passed away. I lost my oldest living brother, two nephews,
and a great-nephew in that period of time. This brings to fourteen the number
of members of my family that have walked through the doors of death into the
next life.
In addition, I received word in June
that “Grandpa Jim” passed away. We met Jim and his wife Liz on a camping trip
more than thirty years ago and “adopted” them. We have stayed in contact with
them over the years and even visited them in their home in Oklahoma. I am
saddened to know that he will not be there on my next visit.
I am grateful for my knowledge that
death is a necessary part of our mortal experience. This knowledge brings
comfort and peace whenever I say goodbye to a loved one. I cannot imagine the
difficulty that the deaths of loved ones would bring if I did not have the
knowledge that death is an essential part of life.
Each mortal will pass through the
doors of death at some time. Some will pass away as infants, while others will become
elderly. Some deaths will be natural and normal, while others will be true
tragedies. No one knows when their exit time will come because it can happen at
any time between infancy and old age. We do know that the doors of death will
open for us when it is our time to walk through them. Then-Elder Russell M.Nelson spoke of the doors of death in the April 1992 General Conference of The
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Death separates “the spirit and the body
[which] are the soul of man.” (Doctrine and Covenants 88:15.) That separation
evokes pangs of sorrow and shock among those left behind. The hurt is real.
Only its intensity varies. Some doors are heavier than others. The sense of
tragedy may be related to age. Generally the younger the victim, the greater
the grief. Yet even when the elderly or infirm have been afforded merciful
relief, their loved ones are rarely ready to let go. The only length of life
that seems to satisfy the longings of the human heart is life everlasting.
Irrespective of age, we mourn for those
loved and lost. Mourning is one of the deepest expressions of pure love. It is
a natural response in complete accord with divine commandment: “Thou shalt live
together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die.”
(Doctrine and Covenants 42:45.) Moreover, we can’t fully appreciate joyful
reunions later without tearful separations now. The only way to take sorrow out
of death is to take love out of life.
I literally hate saying goodbye to
my loved ones. It is difficult for me to say goodbye to my children and
grandchildren when I know that I will see them again in a few days. It is much
more difficult if I do not know when I will see them again. The death of a
loved one brings even more uncertainty about seeing them again. However, we
must leave this world in order to gain eternal life and joy with our loved ones
in the next life. Elder Nelson explains the necessity of death in his April
2005 General Conference address, just months after the death of his wife.
Death is a necessary component of our
eternal existence. No one knows when it will come, but it is essential to God’s
great plan of happiness. Thanks to the Atonement of the Lord, eventual
resurrection is a reality and eternal life is a possibility for all humankind.
That possibility becomes a reality as we obey God’s law. He said, “Except ye
shall keep my commandments, … ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of
heaven” [Book of Mormon – Another Testament of Jesus Christ, 3 Nephi 12:20].
One day we will be judged by the Lord and go to our own mansion prepared in our
Father’s heavenly house. Celestial glory awaits those who have been faithful to
God’s gentle commands.
Brothers and sisters, we live to die and
we die to live – in another realm. If we are well prepared, death brings no
terror. From an eternal perspective, death is premature only for those who are
not prepared to meet God.”
We lived with God in a pre-mortal
world before we came to earth. While we were there, He explained that He would
be sending us away for a short period of time in order for us to gain what we
need to live with Him forever. We left that world of spirits and came here to
obtain a physical body, to gain experience, and to prove ourselves. Once we
meet those requirements, there is no need for us to remain in this world. We exit
this mortal life through the doors of death and enter into a more beautiful and
better world.
Our
lives did not begin with our birth, and they will not end with our death. Birth
and death are two necessary steps in our eternal progress. Just as birth is an important
beginning to mortality, death is an important graduation to the next life. Both
are essential for us in order to progress and become like our Father in Heaven.
This knowledge makes saying goodbye to my loved ones easier but not easy. As
Elder Nelson said, “The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love
out of life.” I would much rather love and miss my loved ones for a while than
to never love them.
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