Asking questions can strengthen families, and strong families strengthen their communities, states, and nations. A valuable time to ask excellent quality questions is when a child returns from school.
In her article, Amy Morin suggests that asking thoughtful questions can “spark meaningful conversations.” Morin is a psychotherapist, clinical social worker, instructor at Northeastern University, and author of several books.
According
to Morin, there are “seven questions that lead to productive conversations
while also helping kids grow mentally stronger.”
1. ‘What was the best part of your day?’
This
question encourages kids to scan their brains for positives. For children who
dislike school or tend to focus on what went wrong, answering this question
helps them build optimism and gratitude – which are both protective factors for
mental health.
Frame
the question with your own experience, saying, “The best part of my day was
going for a walk during my lunch break. What about you?” Your child might share
a highlight, like “I played kickball at recess.”
2. ‘What’s a mistake you learned from today?’
This
one normalizes errors and celebrates healthy risk-taking. Talking openly about
mistakes reduces shame and helps kids see them as opportunities for growth.
Ask
with a tone of curiosity, not judgment: “Did anything happen today that you’d
do differently next time?” This might prompt them to say, “I forgot my library
book so I’m going to pack it tonight so I don’t forget.”
3. ‘Who were you proud of today?’
It
works because it turns their attention to others and cultivates empathy. You
will also gain insight into your child’s relationships and what they value.
Make
the question more specific by asking, for example, “Did you see anyone try
really hard at something today?” Your child may talk about a friend who was
brave or might give themselves a pat on the back and say, “My friend forgot her
snack so I shared mine.”
4. ‘What’s one thing that would have made today
better?’
This
question helps kids identify feelings like frustration and disappointment
without dwelling on those experiences. It naturally opens the door to
problem-solving and planning.
You
can ask in a fun way, such as, “if you had a magic wand to change one thing
about today, what would it be?” This can lead to creative ideas, like, “I wish
there was more time for my art project so maybe I’ll bring it home to finish
it.”
5. ‘Who did you help today?’
You
can empower kids to engage in prosocial behavior with questions like this. When
you ask regularly, kids begin to look for opportunities to be helpful and acts
of kindness become second nature.
Ask
about small acts of contribution: “How were you a helper today?” They might
remember something simple, like, “I helped the teacher pass out papers.”
6. ‘What was the most interesting thing you learned
today?’
It
emphasizes curiosity over academic performance. Showing interest in the
learning process itself fuels lifelong learning.
Encourage
kids to talk about what they learned aside from just their subjects. They may
share a fun fact, like, “I learned that my teacher knows how to play the
violin.” Show interest and ask follow-up questions to keep the conversation
going.
7. ‘What’s something new you’d like to try?’
This
nudges kids to look outside their comfort zone and encourages them to be
courageous. They don’t have to be good at something in order to try something
new – it’s a learning experience. If your child hesitates to try new things,
encourage an experiment by asking, “Is there a club or activity you’re curious
about just trying once?” They may be more likely to explore if they know they
don’t have to stick with it forever.
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