Do Marriage and Motherhood Lead to Happier Women?

Families are stronger when mothers are happy with their situation and circumstances, and strong families strengthen their communities, states, and nations. Jenet Jacob Erickson, a fellow of the Wheatley Institute and a professor in Religious Education at Brigham Young University, authored an article about women, mothers, marriage, and happiness. 

Erickson explained that a young married woman about to graduate spoke with her about careers, motherhood, the effects of motherhood on careers, and how children affect the marital relationship. Erickson authored her article to share information with others who have similar questions. She gave the following key points for her article.

·         A growing number of young women look upon parenting warily, while 74% see job and career as a source of a fulfilling life.

·         Yet national surveys repeatedly show that married women with children are happier – up to twice as much – compared with women who are single or childless.

·         Married women also report high levels of physical touch (e.g., kissing, cuddling, holding hands), more than double the rates of other women.

·         Even as motherhood transitions women into greater exhaustion and less “me time,” this often corresponds with an increase in meaning, purpose and happiness.

·         Only 1 in 5 single mothers say they are connected with a local community group, compared with 38% of married mothers – highlighting a need to provide additional support.

Erickson closed her article with good counsel. She first explained that nothing in her article “should obscure the realities that make motherhood difficult” and it “takes a village to raise a child.”

Yet many mothers today find themselves without that village and social connections. This is especially true for single mothers….

These findings shouldn’t obscure the importance of women’s personal development and essential contributions in spheres outside of nurturing children. Cultural narratives that define mothers as needless, wantless, desireless humans whose lives are defined by others’ needs undermine the agency and power of women to choose the privilege and sacrifice of giving and nurturing life, and the unparalleled development that comes with it.

Our study also confirms the critical role of marriage in motherhood. Many of the health benefits of motherhood for women, such as less loneliness and better mental health, apply primarily to married mothers. Marriage to a caring spouse offers the stabilizing and supportive context that lifts the burdens of motherhood and strengthens mothers’ experience of happiness, connection and meaning.

Single mothers are often the unsung heroes among us and should be strengthened in every way within our communities.

We really are relational beings. The cultural narrative shaping our perceptions may lead us to believe that happiness is found in pleasure-seeking autonomy. But the core relationships of life – marriage and parenthood – are designed to enable the flourishing we yearn for.

Motherhood offers an unparalleled opportunity for connection, meaning and intimacy. Believing that in today’s culture may take faith. But it is a faith worth acting on.

Happy mothers and fathers lead to happy families in most cases. Happy families are stronger families, and strong families make stronger communities, states, and nations.

 

Motherhood

            Mother’s Day is here once again. It is a day that brings many mixed feelings to women. Some women wish they had loving feelings toward their own mother but do not. Some women with deceased mothers wish for another opportunity to spend time with their mothers. Some women are mothers, other women long to be mothers, and still others do not want to be mothers. Most girls and young women dream of the day when they will have children, and most mothers are grateful for the opportunity to have children. 

      

            Many mothers do not like the public observance of Mother’s Day because the loving words that are spoken about mothers make them feel guilty for not being better mothers. I certainly feel that I failed my own children in many ways, and I expect that the most perfect of mothers feels that she should have been a better one! I am comforted and strengthened in my role as a mother with the following words from Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 

… There is no role in life more essential and more eternal than that of motherhood.

There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part-or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.

            All women are mothers at heart. Those who do not actually bear or adopt children are still mothers in their own way. They may mother step-children, nieces and nephews, siblings, aged parents, students in their classrooms, or even adults in their organizations. There are all kinds of people who need mothering. My oldest daughter does not have children of her own, but she “mothers” people throughout a large area of Alaska as she works to meet their health needs.   I marvel at the young mothers of my acquaintance, including my own daughters by birth and marriage. I am amazed at their abilities to meet the needs of their children and to bring excitement, learning, and culture into their lives. I am particularly mindful at this time of those mothers who have lost children, and my heart aches for them.

            No matter the age of the mother, she is a strange creature in that she cares more for her children than she cares for herself. I remember the many sacrifices that my own mother made in order than her children could have what they wanted or needed. One of my older sisters wanted to take her new doll to school for show-and-tell, but she had no clothes for the doll. My mother stayed up all night crocheting a set of doll clothing in order for my sister to take her doll to school the next day.

            Even though all of my children are grown and married, I had an opportunity to take on the role of mother to one of my daughters recently. She and her husband were asked to be the “parents” for a “family” on a pioneer trek, and she needed some pioneer clothing. She contacted me and asked if I would have time to make two skirts and an apron for her. Even though I had more tasks than I could possibly do in the limited time, I told her yes. My husband questioned why I would take on more work when I was already so busy, and my answer was, “This is what mothers do.” Most mothers willingly sacrifice for the benefit of their children, but some of those sacrifices are more serious than others. I often think of the following lines that are attributed to Victor Hugo.  

She broke the bread into two fragments and gave them to her children, who ate with eagerness. “She hath kept none for herself,” grumbled the sergeant.

“Because she is not hungry,” said a soldier.

“No,” said the sergeant, “because she is a mother.”

            I have seen these traits in my daughters as they make sure that their children have clean clothes on their bodies and food in their tummies but have not yet taken time to shower or eat. I have often watched as a daughter finally gets a chance to sit down to a meal, and a child suddenly appears with their mouth wide open, much like baby birds in a nest. Even though the child has just finished their own food, they want some of mom’s food, and she gives it to them because she is a mother.

            On this Mother’s Day I am grateful for my own loving, self-sacrificing mother, and I am grateful for my husband’s mother who lovingly accepted me as a daughter. I am grateful for my sisters by birth and marriage for mothering me both before and after the death of my mother.

I am grateful for the opportunity that I have to be a mother and grandmother, and I am grateful for my opportunity to watch my daughters in their motherhood. I wish a “Happy Mother’s Day” to all women, both those who have children and those who are mothering the children of other women. May God bless all of us in our motherhood.

Motherhood

                Families, communities, and nations are strengthened when all individuals understand how God empowers women in motherhood. Motherhood is the most essential “career” for all women because we brought it from our pre-mortal life. “And Adam called his wife’s name Eve because she was the mother of all living” (Genesis 3:20). Adam said she was the “mother of all living” before Eve bore any children.

                Marie Bigelow posted an interesting article titled “3 Ways God Empowers Women in Motherhood.” She writes, “As a mother, doula, childbirth educator, and maternal-fetal health advocate, I have witnessed the magnification of mothers continually for over a decade. I have seen God’s hand in every aspect of raising the next generation. Here are three ways I continually see Heavenly Father strengthen and magnify mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts and female role models.”

                First, Bigelow states that “God foreordained all women to be mothers. Modern day revelation teaches us that all women were foreordained in the preexistence to become mothers, in more ways than just physically. As the family proclamation teaches, gender is part of our eternal identity. Meaning, our gender and accompanying attributes were laid out in the preexistence. God had already qualified and empowered all women to this demanding role and endowed all women, even those who do not physically give birth, with the ability to mother….”

                Second, Bigelow shares that “The Physiology of childbirth transforms and strengthens women. Despite cultural beliefs, the ability to bear children is not a curse. Childbirth was not a punishment placed upon women after Eve partook of the fruit but was a divine gift to humankind long before Eve was ever placed in the Garden. Though childbirth is anything but a curse, it is also anything but easy! Pregnancy and birth take a physical and emotional toll on women, but God has found many ways to strengthen and magnify His daughters during this trying, yet edifying experience. One notable example of this is the physiological design of childbirth and how God uses the chemical reactions of birth to magnify and strengthen our relationships….”

                Third, Bigelow says that “Nurturing children magnifies women. Taking care of children magnifies a woman in two ways: (1) Physiological bonding continues as women nurture and enjoy children, and (2) Christlike love is developed and strengthened through countless opportunities to serve. Whether a woman gives birth to her children or adopts them, she will physiologically bond with her children as she enjoys spending time with them as they grow. Teaching, nurturing, snuggling, singing, dancing, playing, and reading together will add happiness to family life as both mother and child are rewarded by these activities….”

                Bigelow’s entire article is very helpful in explaining how God empowers women in motherhood. She states that to “mother” is to “give life.” There are many ways that women give life – besides giving birth. Think of the many step-mothers and adopted moms that love children born to other women and give them “life” through nurturing them in the home. Think of the many teachers who welcome into their classrooms children from many walks of life and help them to become better people. Think of the many grandmothers and great-grandmothers who have great influence for good in the lives of their posterity.

                Motherhood is a part of womanhood and is empowered by God. When we realize the power in motherhood, we can strengthen our families, communities, and nations.

Mothers

I have the opportunity to know many young and wonderful women who are accomplishing much good in the world by being exceptional mothers to their children. These young mothers impress me by the way they love and teach their children. Several of these young women have been chosen to represent Alaska in different years as either the Alaska Mother of the Year or as the Alaska Young Mother of the Year.

I have learned much from these young mothers, things that I wished I had understood when my own children were young. I have learned that the smallest of gestures leave great impressions. The following lines are attributed to Victor Hugo: "She broke the bread into two fragments and gave them to her children, who ate with eagerness. `She hath kept none for herself,' grumbled the sergeant. `Because she is not hungry,' said a soldier. `No,' said the sergeant, `because she is a mother.'"

I know that any of these young mothers of my acquaintance would react as did the mother in the following incidence in a concentration camp during World War II:
"One afternoon we had to stand in line to receive our food and water rations. Our mother could barely stand, let alone walk, but she … stood in line with us, in obvious pain, leaning heavily on a stick. Seeing my mother like that fueled the hatred in my heart for those responsible… When I passed one of the officers … I threw my cup … in his face and spat at him.
"Immediately a samurai sword was drawn toward me. Quickly my mother put her hands on the sword and pushed it away from me, cutting her hands…
"`Please pick up your cup, Kitty, and apologize,' she begged me softly….
"With great difficulty she bent and picked up the cup, then bowed deeply… She offered apologies in my name, telling him that I was only a child and had not acquired the discipline to master my emotions…. `If there must be a punishment,' she said, `I will take it for my child.'
"… The officer slowly put the sword back in its sheath, gently took the cup from my mother's hands, and filled it with water. `Woman, drink!' he said, and … my mother drank the water eagerly. He took the cup from her hands, filled it a second time, and offered it to my mother with both hands and a slight bow…
"`It is I who must apologize to you for not recognizing the majesty of your womanhood,' he said." (Kitty DeRuyter)

I think that mothers in general consider their efforts to be feeble when comparing themselves to others. I know that I usually feel that my works do not measure up to what they should be. For all those mothers who feel that they will never be chosen as "mother of the year," consider the following thoughts from prophets: "I have learned to place a high estimate upon the love of mother. I have often said, and will repeat it, that the love of a true mother comes nearer being like the love of God than any other kind of love" (Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine, 315).

"Motherhood is the greatest potential influence, either for good or ill in human life. The mother's image is the first that stamps itself on the unwritten page of the young child's mind. It is her caress that first awakens a sense of security; her kiss, the first realization of affection; her sympathy and tenderness, the first assurance that there is love in the world" (David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, 452).

"She who can paint a masterpiece or write a book that will influence millions deserves the admiration and the plaudits of mankind; but she who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters, whose influence will be felt through generations to come, whose immortal souls will exert an influence throughout the ages long after paintings shall have faded, and books and statues shall have decayed or shall have been destroyed, deserves the highest honor that man can give, and the choicest blessings of God" (David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, 453-54).

The following story illustrates that motherhood is the noblest of all careers and the most important career for women. "Kristen was finishing a graduate degree and had recently given birth to her second child. She felt the other graduates had accomplished so much more and was reluctant to attend the graduation dinner. Her fears were confirmed when, at the dinner, the students were asked to list their professional accomplishments.
"Kristen recalled, `I suddenly felt embarrassed and ashamed. I had nothing to call myself, no lofty position, no impressive job title.' To make matters worse, the professor read the lists as he presented a diploma to each student. The woman ahead of Kristen had many accomplishments: she already had a PhD, was receiving a second master's degree, and she'd even been a mayor! The woman received grand applause.
"Then it was Kristen's turn. She handed the professor her blank sheet, trying to hold back the tears. The professor had been one of her teachers and had praised her performance. He looked at her blank paper. Without missing a beat he announced, `Kristen holds the most critical role in all of society.' He was quiet for a few seconds, then declared in a powerful voice, `She is the mother of her children.' Instead of a few courteous claps, people rose to their feet. There was just one standing ovation that night; it was for the mother in the room" (Bonnie D. Parkin, "Sweet Moments," Ensign, Nov. 2005, 107).

Fools may deride the women who choose to become mothers and spend their most productive years in nurturing their children. People with wisdom understand that mothers hold the most critical position in the world. The work done by mothers with their children will determine the type of society we have so never underestimate the importance of being a mother. Consider the words of the following poem:
The holiest words my tongue can frame,
The noblest thoughts my soul can claim,
Unworthy are to praise the name
More precious than all other.
An infant, when her love first came,
A man, I find it still the same,
Reverently I breathe her name,
The blessed name of mother.
George Griffith Fether, "The Name of Mother," in Best-Loved Poems of the LDS People, ed. Jack M. Lyon and others (1996), 218.

I wish a Happy Mother's Day to every woman. To those women who happen to have children, enjoy the attention given to you today because you deserve it. To those women who do not have children of their own yet, rejoice because you are a woman and are a mother in your heart. Every woman has a part to play in helping the children and youth of today to become the healthy, well-balanced adults of tomorrow.

Motherhood

Families are strengthened when mothers recognize that the calling of motherhood holds great power in righting the wrongs in the world. Mothers must understand that they hold a key position as they influence their children for good or ill.

"A mother has far greater influence on her children than anyone else, and she must realize that every word she speaks, every act, every response, her attitude, even her appearance and manner of dress affect the lives of her children and the whole family.
It is while the child is in the home that he gains from his mother the attitudes, hopes, and beliefs that will determine the kind of life he will live and the contribution he will make to society" (N. Eldon Tanner, "No Greater Honor: The Woman's Role," New Era, Jan. 1977, 31).

If you doubt the influence that mothers have in the lives of their children, pay attention to these words spoken by some stripling warriors going off to war for the first time. These young men had been taught by their mothers to put their trust in God and to never doubt His power to protect them, and they had great courage. Their commander wrote the following concerning a discussion about whether or not to join an ongoing battle: The young men said, "… our God is with us, and he will not suffer that we should fall; then let us go forth; we would not slay our brethren if they would let us alone; therefore let us go, lest they should overpower the army of Antipus.
"Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.
"And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it" (Alma 56:45-48). The faith of these 2060 young men kept them alive when men were dying all around them. There is real power in motherhood!

Much of the great good in the world today as well as much of the terrible evil is the result of the way that the children of yesterday were reared. We are surrounded by millions of young men and women who are doing tremendous things to help society. They obtain the proper education needed to help their fellow men and to provide for their families. They love, teach, and train their children to be good influences in the world. They show good examples to all who know them or observe them. There are also many young men and young women in the world who are taught by their mothers to hate people of other faiths. They are taught that they have a responsibility to kill anyone who is of a different religion. They strap bombs to their bodies and commit suicide with the hope that they will kill many infidels.

There is great power involved in motherhood! This nation and the world will follow where the next generation leads, and mothers control the direction of the rising generation. Neal A. Maxwell asked the following questions: "When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses?" (See "The Women of God," Ensign, May 1978, 10-11.)

This same principle is enshrined in a poem written by William Ross Wallace and published in 1865. He wrote, "For the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world." Motherhood is the preeminent force for change in the world because any changes that we want in the world must first take place in the home.

A modern-day prophet of God stated, "There is no need in any land for conflict between diverse groups of any kind. Let there be taught in the homes of people that we are all children of God, our Eternal Father, and that as surely as there is fatherhood, there can and must be brotherhood….
"Good homes are not easily created or maintained. They require discipline, not so much of children as of self. They require respect for others, that respect which comes best from acceptance of the revealed word of the Lord concerning the purpose of life, of the importance and sacred nature of the family, and recognition of each member of the family as a child of God" (Gordon B. Hinckley, Stand A Little Taller, 117, 131).

We have the words of two other prophets of God that emphasize the need for parents to teach their children correct principles. David O. McKay said, "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." Harold B. Lee said, "The most important work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home."

There are numerous good reasons why God sent us to earth as babies to live in families. One of those reasons included the need for the babies to be taught properly. E. T. Sullivan explained that God changes the world in small ways: "We fancy that God can only manage His world with battalions, when all the while He is doing it by beautiful babies. When a wrong wants righting, or a truth wants preaching, or a continent wants opening, God sends a baby into the world. When God wants a great work done in the world or a great wrong righted, he goes about it in a very unusual way. He doesn't stir up his earthquakes or send forth his thunderbolts. Instead, he has a helpless baby born, perhaps in a simple home and of some obscure mother. And then God puts the idea into the mother's heart, and she puts it into the baby's mind. And then God waits. The greatest forces in the world are not the earthquakes and the thunderbolts. The greatest forces in the world are babies" ("God's Way," The Treasure Chest [1965], p 53).

Babies soon grow into youth, and youth quickly matures into adulthood. Those babies will be forces for good or evil, depending in large measure on how they are reared. The wise writer of Proverbs declared, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6).

A mother's example will do more than anything else to impress a pattern of life on the minds of her children. A story is told about a group of women in ancient Rome who were showing their beautiful jewels to each other with great pride and vanity. Cornelia, the mother of two boys, was among the group. One of the women asked Cornelia, "And where are your jewels?" Cornelia answered by pointing to her sons and saying, "These are my jewels." She taught her sons by her good example and virtuous life. The two sons were Gaius and Tiberius Gracchus - the Gracchi, as they were called. They became two of the most persuasive and effective reformers in Roman history. Those who remember and speak of them also remember and praise the mother who reared them after the manner of her own virtuous life.

I do not wish to ignore the effect of fathers on children because the influence of fathers is great also, but I understand that the roles of fathers and mothers are different. Motherhood is so powerful because the bond between mother and child is there long before the birth of the child. After birth, it is often the mother who spends long hours with children because mothers are usually in the home more than fathers are. If you listen carefully to the way that great men talk about their mothers, you will understand that mothers have a powerful influence on their children. It is mother who has the greatest ability to bring comfort and security to a frightened or unhappy child. For all these reasons, mothers carry much power in the lives of their children.

Thomas S. Monson made the following statement: "Men turn from evil and yield to their better natures when mother is remembered. A famed officer from the Civil War period, Colonel Higginson, when asked to name the incident of the Civil War that he considered the most remarkable for bravery, said that there was in his regiment a man whom everybody liked, a man who was brave and noble, who was pure in his daily life, absolutely free from dissipations in which most of the other men indulged.
"One night at a champagne supper, when many were becoming intoxicated, someone in jest called for a toast from this young man. Colonel Higginson said that he arose, pale but with perfect self-control, and declared: `Gentlemen, I will give you a toast which you may drink as you will, but which I will drink in water. The toast that I have to give is, "Our mothers."'
"Instantly a strange spell seemed to come over all the tipsy men. They drank the toast in silence. There was no more laughter, no more song, and one by one they left the room. The lamp of memory had begun to burn, and the name of Mother touched every man's heart.
"As a boy, I well remember Sunday School on Mother's Day. We would hand to each mother present a small potted plant and sit in silent reverie as Melvin Watson, a blind member, would stand by the piano and sing `That Wonderful Mother of Mine.' This was the first time I saw a blind man cry. Even today, in memory, I can see the moist tears move from those sightless eyes, then form tiny rivulets and course down his cheeks, falling finally upon the lapel of the suit he had never seen. In boyhood puzzlement I wondered why all the grown men were silent, why so many handkerchiefs came forth. Now I know: mother was remembered. Each boy, each girl, all fathers and husbands seemed to make a silent pledge, `I will remember that wonderful mother of mine.'" (See "`Behold Thy Mother,'" Ensign, Apr 1998, 2.)

The world and our nation would be much more beautiful if every mother regarded her children as the jewels of her life and took proper and loving care of her children. By their teachings, mothers will determine to a large extent what our nation will be like for the next generation. This is why I state that there is great power for good or evil in motherhood!

Mothers

The Alaska Young Mother of the Year is a woman who is related to some members of my family. She well deserves the honor because she does an outstanding job of mothering her large family. I suspect that the honor given to her makes other young mothers feel less competent. I want to assure all the mothers of young children of my acquaintance that you are doing well. I have developed the habit of watching the mothering skills of women around me, and I must say that I am more and more impressed as time goes by. I am learning much from young mothers that I wish I had known while my children were young. The smallest of gestures are impressive as shown by the following lines attributed to Victor Hugo: "She broke the bread into two fragments and gave them to her children, who ate with eagerness. `She hath kept none for herself,' grumbled the sergeant. `Because she is not hungry,' said a soldier. `No,' said the sergeant, `because she is a mother.'" I think that mothers in general think that they are failing in their responsibilities. I know that I usually feel that I don't measure up to what I should be. A dear friend told me many years ago that we will not know how good of mothers we are until we see how our grandchildren turn out. While you are pondering that thought, remember that numerous religious leaders have told us that some children would turn out great no matter whom their parents were and other children would challenge the best of parents. Please don't be too hard on yourselves. I know for sure that we never fail until we fail to keep trying. For all those mothers who feel that they will never be chosen as "mother of the year," consider the following thoughts from prophets: "I have learned to place a high estimate upon the love of mother. I have often said, and will repeat it, that the love of a true mother comes nearer being like the love of God than any other kind of love" (Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine, 315). "Motherhood is the greatest potential influence, either for good or ill in human life. The mother's image is the first that stamps itself on the unwritten page of the young child's mind. It is her caress that first awakens a sense of security; her kiss, the first realization of affection; her sympathy and tenderness, the first assurance that there is love in the world" (David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, 452). "She who can paint a masterpiece or write a book that will influence millions deserves the admiration and the plaudits of mankind; but she who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters, whose influence will be felt through generations to come, whose immortal souls will exert an influence throughout the ages long after paintings shall have faded, and books and statues shall have decayed or shall have been destroyed, deserves the highest honor that man can give, and the choicest blessings of God" (David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, 453-54). Motherhood is the noblest of all careers because it is the most important career for women. The following story illustrates the important role filled by mothers. "Kristen was finishing a graduate degree and had recently given birth to her second child. She felt the other graduates had accomplished so much more and was reluctant to attend the graduation dinner. Her fears were confirmed when, at the dinner, the students were asked to list their professional accomplishments. "Kristen recalled, `I suddenly felt embarrassed and ashamed. I had nothing to call myself, no lofty position, no impressive job title.' To make matters worse, the professor read the lists as he presented a diploma to each student. The woman ahead of Kristen had many accomplishments: she already had a PhD, was receiving a second master's degree, and she'd even been a mayor! The woman received grand applause. "Then it was Kristen's turn. She handed the professor her blank sheet, trying to hold back the tears. The professor had been one of her teachers and had praised her performance. He looked at her blank paper. Without missing a beat he announced, `Kristen holds the most critical role in all of society.' He was quiet for a few seconds, then declared in a powerful voice, `She is the mother of her children.' Instead of a few courteous claps, people rose to their feet. There was just one standing ovation that night; it was for the mother in the room" (Bonnie D. Parkin, "Sweet Moments," Ensign, Nov. 2005, 107). Fools may deride the women who choose to become mothers and spend their most productive years in nurturing their children. People with wisdom understand that mothers hold the most critical position in the world. The work done by mothers with their children will determine the type of society we have. Never underestimate the importance of being a mother. I wish a Happy Mother's Day to every woman. To those women who happen to have children, enjoy the attention given to you today because you deserve it. To those women who do not have children of their own yet, rejoice because you are a woman and are a mother in your heart.. Every woman has a part to play in helping the children and youth of today to become the healthy, well-balanced adults of tomorrow.

Power in Motherhood

Never underestimate the power in motherhood for righting the wrongs in the world. Mothers hold a key position because of their influence in the lives of their children. "A mother has far greater influence on her children than anyone else, and she must realize that every word she speaks, every act, every response, her attitude, even her appearance and manner of dress affect the lives of her children and the whole family. It is while the child is in the home that he gains from his mother the attitudes, hopes, and beliefs that will determine the kind of life he will live and the contribution he will make to society" (N. Eldon Tanner, "No Greater Honor: The Woman's Role," New Era, Jan. 1977, 31). If you doubt the effect of mothers in the lives of their children, here are some words spoken by young men who were going off to fight in their first war. These young men had been taught by their mothers to put their trust in God and not doubt His power. They told their commander, "We do not doubt our mothers knew it" (Alma 56:48). The faith of these 2060 young men kept them alive when men were dying all around them. There is real power in motherhood! The great good in the world today as well as the terrible evils are the results of the way that the children of yesterday were reared. The nation and the world will follow where the next generation leads, and mothers control the direction of the rising generation. We must never forget the principle enshrined in a poem written by William Ross Wallace and published in 1865. He wrote, "For the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world." Motherhood is the preeminent force for change in the world because any changes that we want in the world must first take place in the home. We have the words of two different prophets of God that emphasize the need for parents to teach their children correct principles. President David O. McKay said, "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." President Harold B. Lee said, "The most important work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home." There are numerous good reasons why God sent us as babies to families on earth. One of those reasons included the desire for the babies to be taught properly. E. T. Sullivan explained the way God works to change the world with these words, "We fancy that God can only manage His world with battalions, when all the while He is doing it by beautiful babies. When a wrong wants righting, or a truth wants preaching, or a continent wants opening, God sends a baby into the world. When God wants a great work done in the world or a great wrong righted, he goes about it in a very unusual way. He doesn't stir up his earthquakes or send forth his thunderbolts. Instead, he has a helpless baby born, perhaps in a simple home and of some obscure mother. And then God puts the idea into the mother's heart, and she puts it into the baby's mind. And then God waits. The greatest forces in the world are not the earthquakes and the thunderbolts. The greatest forces in the world are babies" ("God's Way," The Treasure Chest [1965], p 53). Babies soon grow into youth, and youth quickly matures into adulthood. Those babies will be forces for good or evil, depending in large measure on how they were reared. The wise writer of Proverbs declared, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6). A mother's example will do more than anything else to impress a pattern of life on the minds of her children. A story is told about a group of women in ancient Rome who were showing their beautiful jewels to each other with great pride and vanity. Cornelia, the mother of two boys, was among the group. One of the women asked Cornelia, "And where are your jewels?" Cornelia answered by pointing to her sons and saying, "These are my jewels." She taught her sons by her good example and virtuous life. The two sons were Gaius and Tiberius Gracchus - the Gracchi, as they were called. They became two of the most persuasive and effective reformers in Roman history. Those who remember and speak of them also remember and praise the mother who reared them after the manner of her own virtuous life. I do not wish to ignore the effect of fathers on children because the influence of fathers is great also. Motherhood is so powerful because the bond between mother and child is there long before the birth of the child. It is usually the mother who spends the most time with children because mothers are usually in the home more than fathers are. If you listen carefully to the way that great men talk about their mothers, you will understand that mothers have a powerful influence on their children. It is mother who has the greatest ability to bring comfort and security to a frightened or unhappy child. For all these reasons, mothers carry much power in the lives of their children. "When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling that what happened in congresses?" (Neal A. Maxwell, "The Women of God," Ensign, May 1978, 10-11). The world and our nation would be much more beautiful if every mother regarded her children as the jewels of her life. Mothers will determine to a large extent what our nation will be like for the next generation by what they put into the minds of their children. This is why I state that there is great power for good or evil in motherhood!