Why Do Relationships Change with Time?

            Time has a way of changing all things, and family relationships are some of the things that get changed by time. There was a time – many years ago – when I was the one telling my children that they could go such and such a place or that they needed to stay home. Now my children tell me that I should not go places, or they strongly encourage me to stay home.


            Last week my husband learned that his younger brother was sent home from Huntsman Cancer Center and put on hospice. He most likely has weeks – rather than months – to live. I shared the news by text message with my children. I told them that we wanted to see him again but were a little worried about flying during the coronavirus pandemic. I immediately received replies from several of my children.

“… I don’t think it’s a good idea for you guys to travel….”

“I agree with M__________.”

“… Please don’t risk your own health.”

“I’m pretty uncomfortable with either of you two going anywhere the rest of the Spring, including the grocery store. This is going to get really bad….”

            The comments from the children were enough to convince me that my feelings about the situation were correct. I cancelled dentist appointments for both my husband and I and physical therapy appointments for him. I mentioned to the children that I was trying to figure out how to order groceries online. Today a daughter who lives locally asked if I had ordered groceries and said that she had a sore throat. I answered that I planned to go to Carrs to get groceries at 7:00 in the morning with the rest of the elderly. My children had something to say about that idea also.

“Hopefully none of the elderly are vectors.”

“Mom you can go to www.carrsqc.com and order for delivery or pickup and they’ll load into your car.”

“Please order for delivery and send the bill to me. I know you’re going to get cabin fever but if either of you get this virus the likelihood of at least one of you dying from it is about 20%. This is by far the biggest risk in your life this year.”

            I can tell you that I immediately gave up on the idea of going to a grocery store! I went to the suggested site to register. I discovered that the store does not make deliveries in my area. I decided to order online and ask someone else to pick it up. I filled out the order and went to register for a delivery date. There were no dates available in the next week and no way to register for a later date.


            I have not given up on the idea, but I have hit some snags. I went to another site to register at a store for which I already have a rewards card. I discovered that I cannot register with my email address or either of my telephone numbers because they are already being used. Of course, they are! They were used when we got the rewards card – which the store will not acknowledge. I called the local store to get an answer and was given a national number. However, that number was receiving so many calls that I was told to call back later. I had school assignments to do, so I gave up for the time being.


            It would be much easier to get up at 7:00 a.m. to drive over to the grocery store to do my own shopping. However, I will be obedient to the requests of my children and not risk my health. It is difficult for me to remember that I am one of the “elderly” people with “underlying health problems” that are being protected by everyone else staying home. I will persevere and find a way! By the way, when did those little children grow up to become my bosses?